The story continues. Because Miley Cyrus was allegedly wearing no underwear, she deserves to have a photo of her go viral on the internet. And actress Kristen Stewart just got in trouble for saying paparazzi shots of her made her feel like she was looking at someone raped. Kristen wasn’t raped, nor was Miley, but this is an assault on female sexuality with a camera. Thank goodness Perez Hilton, who justified the photo saying he was teaching Cyrus to be “ladylike,” is around, a bastion of morality, making sure that girls and women dress properly and behave appropriately.
I don’t usually read memoirs. I feel like I have no time to read so whenever I get some, I go for my favorites: fiction or social commentary. But in the past few months, ever since I took 2 solo flights to NYC, I can’t stop with the memoirs. I’ve read 6 amazing stories about women’s lives. These books have been so good and original, they remind me of that Muriel Rukeyser much repeated quote:
What if one women told the truth about her life?
The world would break open
Here are my recommendations in reverse chronological order– what I’m reading now back to what I started with:
Orange is the New Black by Piper Kerman This is the story of a woman who got involved in low level drug trafficking (carrying/ picking up suitcases, other errands like that.) When the big time head of the operation was arrested long after Kerman had given up the drug crowd, moved to New York, and had a career, she named names and the feds came for Kerman. This book makes you feel as if you’re with Kerman behind bars, her silent cellmate. I’ve never read a memoir about a women’s prison before or any prison life. It’s fascinating and makes me feel like I will never break the law (though I did just get a ticket for an expired car registration and, at the same time, for not having my wildly tantruming kid seatbelted properly. Double ticket. Hadn’t stared the book yet.)
Happens Every Day by Isabel Gillies, a memoir about Gillies husband leaving her for another woman after she’s given up her acting career and moved to Ohio with him and their two young kids. I think there are other ‘divorce’ memoirs, but I haven’t read them. This is a total page-turner.
Some Girls by Jillian Lauren. Lauren writes about her experience as a sex worker, traveling to Brunei. I’ve read other sex work memoirs but none as insightful and raw as this one. I blogged about it here.
Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage by Elizabeth Gilbert This is the sequel to Eat, Pray, Love and chronicles Gilbert’s travails after she decides to marry the hot guy from Bali in order to get him citizenship after the restrictions of the Patriot Act threaten to keep them apart. I feel much the same way Gilbert does about marriage, and I loved reading her personal story about how she came to peace with age old institution. I blogged about her book here.
Bedwetter by Sarah Silverman. Silverman, you probaly know, is a comedian; this book is hilarious but also poignant. She wet her bed until she was sixteen years old. One passage totally sticks in my head: Silverman is just back from sleepaway camp, a traumatizing experience for a bedwetter; she secretly wore diapers at night. When she gets off the camp bus, full of shame, her mom is frenetically taking pictures of her. Silverman has a strange feeling of getting attention yet being completely ignored. When I read this, I thought it was a great way to describe the experience many women have of being looked at but not being seen. I blogged about the book here.
Lit by Mary Karr, best-selling author of The Liar’s Club. Her memoir of recovering from alcoholism. There are many, many memoirs of addiction/ recovery of course, but Karr is such a beautiful writer, she could write about my refrigerator, and I’d love it.
This is great piece by Beatrice Bowles. As she writes, people are afraid to talk about money and sex,but especially God/ religion/ spirituality in an open way. In my earlier post today, it mentions the Vital Voices event I attended, where retired Bishop William Swing of the United Religions Initiative said, “A lot of times religion keeps women from taking a place at the table.”
Here is Bowles’s piece about that issue:
Before the sixties, sex, money and, God forbid, religion were considered off-limit topics–three subjects we were supposed to never discuss. In the sixties, sex became more open and sexologists’ once-scandalous insights became common knowledge–from the joys of orgasm to the horrors of abuse. The subject of money, too, has become anything but taboo. Whether in the media or in political debate or at the dinner table, we assess the uses and abuses of wealth. We debate the design of our economic system–free-market or regulated? Books on economics for adults and children flourish. Economic reformers and white-collar criminals make the news about equally.
Still the subject of religion remains on shaky ground. The comfort, guidance, and inspiration that religions offer stand in stark contrast to the prejudice that can breed within and between them. Despite freedom of religion (and/or from religion) being a tenet of our society, a dangerous propensity for intolerance shadows faith. In some places, the scientific teaching of evolution is banned by doctrinal literalists. In others, doubt or discussion of religious differences is considered heresy.
Caught in the quagmire, intellectuals flail about. Cultural gadfly Christopher Hitchens pushes for a new atheism in “God is Not Great: Why Religion Poisons Everything.”(2009) In his New Yorker article, ‘God in the Quad,’ scholar James Woods retreats cautiously towards the holiness of science as grounds for faith.
So far, spiritual leaders have us failed, too. Asked recently if there was anything new in spiritual education that might ease the muddle, a top Christian cleric assured me, “Nothing.” Religions persist in misguided conflicts with science and/or with each other.
Yet a solution lies within reach if we establish two grand and desperately needed distinctions. First is that religion and science are parallel but different levels of thought. Science attempts to explain physical matter, its laws, properties and energetics, at a whole level above and beyond science. Religions attempt to explain the abstract meaning of life: why are we here, how shall we best live, what vast intelligence lies behind creation, what happens when we die?
Secondly, all religions, being abstract in essence, are relative in nature–no matter how grand, prescriptive, helpful or precious each may be to their leaders and followers. Is there only one right deity? Only one right prayer? One right ritual? Only one sacred story? No more than there is one right flower or river. No religion can ever trump another. In a democracy, no religion should be allowed to trump freedom of faith. As we know too well, the worst abuses of spiritual authority seem to arise in religions which claim infallibility and demand blind, unthinking obedience from their followers.
Properly defined, religion and science cannot and do not negate each other. Scientific thinking and mythic thinking are complementary, not contradictory, forms of thought. Conflicts arise when either realm attempts to deny the validity of the other. Ask Galileo. Sorrily, our educators seem stymied by fear of offending devout worshippers of one tradition or another. Rather than teaching students about tolerance, respect, and appreciation for the varieties of religious expression, for the most part, nothing of the sort is taught.
Politicians behave equally poorly. When French President Sarkozy banned women from wearing the head scarf in public, he double-faulted. First he denied Muslim women’s freedom of religion as well as all women’s right to wear what they want. Second he failed to assert the over-arching requirement of citizenship in a democracy. Why not rule that women have the right to wear veils, but that they must show their faces when the public good requires–as when applying for driver’s permits and identity papers, answering police inquiries, or performing other such public duties? Such acts of intellectual ineptitude on a politician’s part only inflame zealotry.
Since we are left to educate ourselves, as a start, I propose reading some of the world’s great sacred myths in which heaven is almost always envisioned as a beautiful garden where the fruit of a central tree holds knowledge of good and evil. Human nature almost always appears as both tricky and powerful, and love and kindness are deemed paramount. When we discover the striking similarities beneath the vast diversity, all we risk is deepening our spirituality, widening our humanity, and bolstering our respect for freedom. Such awareness might help to dethrone power-mad hierarchs, haters, and holy war mongers. After all, we delight in the food of many lands. Why should we and our children not dine on Earth’s divine wisdom as well?
Beatrice Bowles, writer and storyteller, creates award-winning CDs of world mythology through her company, Harmony Hill Productions
After the U.N. Conference on Women in Beijing 15 years ago, Hillary Rodham Clinton planted the seed for Vital Voices, a nongovernmental organization that works worldwide to support “emerging women leaders and social entrepreneurs.” Cissie Swig, profoundly committed to a host of global causes, political campaigns, women’s rights and the arts, is on its board. And last Monday, she invited about 30 friends, mainly women with parallel passions, to dinner at Villa Taverna to meet Vital Voices President Alyse Nelson, who described the group’s work: identifying those women, educating and training them in financial skills, marketing, communication, leadership.
This gathering wasn’t just about providing financial support. After Nelson described projects in nearly 127 countries and suggested the possibility of a Bay Area council, guests leaped in with ideas for participating. Mills College President Janet Holmgren said Mills would be excited to be “the nexus” for a Bay Area presence; Anette Harris, board member for the International Museum of Women, suggested that institution and Vital Voices might work together on a speakers’ series; retired Bishop William Swing of the United Religions Initiative said, “A lot of times religion keeps women from taking a place at the table; we would like to sit down and talk with you about that”; radio producer-writer-Woodhull Institute founder Margo Magowan talked about training women for on-air appearances; and Cissie’s daughter-in-law Darian Swig, whose passion is Human Rights Watch, discussed the importance of supporting Liberian President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf and suggested joining forces on a Liberia working group.
Cissie Swig had accomplished the evening’s goal, as she expressed in a goodnight wish: “Stay connected.”
About-Face is a San Francisco based non-profit whose mission “is to equip women and girls with tools to understand and resist harmful media messages that affect self-esteem and body image.” About-Face has received all kinds of recognition for its great work. Most recently, as you can witness all around San Francisco, teenage girls in About-Face’s programs led a project to put “static-cling” stickers on dressing room mirrors with empowering messages such as “YOU: absolutely no Photoshopping necessary.” This effort is going national and was just featured in O The Oprah Magazine.
www.sfgate.com
Jennifer Berger, Executive Director of About-Face, “Quit Playing Barbie” shirt available at About-Face
Jennifer Berger is the Executive Director. This is my interview with her:
What is the main challenge for About-Face right now?
There’s awareness of media’s impact on girls and women’s sense of self-worth and some notable positive examples, but not enough action to really create change. And somehow most people seem to think that sexism is over. We can hear about celebrities who admit that they have had eating disorders, or that they feel pressure about their weight or appearance, but they aren’t going so far as encouraging an improvement of the system itself. And Lane Bryant’s lingerie commercial does something positive for women of size and challenges fatphobia. But that needs to be more than a one-off campaign here and there. About-Face is leading the charge in terms of actually changing culture. Awareness is awesome: action is better.
I blogged about Lane Bryant — I was happy to see another body image on TV and shocked that network executives were so offended by real breasts that they censored that commercial, but I was not so psyched about the whole idea that larger women can be exploited on TV too! Yay! Getting women of all sizes in the Victoria’s Secret show is not a goal of mine. I don’t get the whole fat women beauty contest thing, like Mo’Nique hosted a few years ago. I don’t think that’s empowering.
I have to agree with you. This need for women (and now men) to compete against each other around beauty is so ancient but so useless right now. I would like to see us all walk around, with both men and women finding beauty in each other’s diverse shapes and sizes. Another vision is for us to simply not be so concerned about outer beauty as a culture.
I love how About-Face is action based. Instead of just criticizing and reacting, About-Face is actually doing something to create change. What are some of your projects?
Our Gallery of Offenders, where we give addresses and tips on writing productive complaint letters, is the most visited part of our web site. It’s really interesting to look at and fun to put together.
Activism is at the heart of About-Face, so our major method of creating change is our Take Action groups, where we inspire and enable teenagers to take action in their own ways. The girls come up with all of the ideas for their action, and we help them make it happen. One group created these awesome static-cling decals for fitting rooms and then slapped them up all over San Francisco. There’s a great video on our web site.
Of course, that kind of brazen activism isn’t for everyone, and we introduce the idea of media-literacy and critical analysis in classrooms all school year long. This past school year, we worked with 1,200 young women and young men in schools and we’ve seen some fantastic results.
Panasonic ad from About-Face’s Gallery of Winners
About-Face was recently mentioned in O The Oprah Magazine. What do you think of Oprah’s public battles with her weight and numerous talk shows on the topic?
As we all know, Oprah has had a problem with her feelings about her weight for years and years, probably brought on by the intense media scrutiny she experienced earlier in her career. She’s a woman whose natural weight is probably on the heavier side, but she’s in the spotlight constantly, so she feels the pressure so intensely. Every time there was a fashion designer on with models, she’d make a comment about how she could never fit into those clothes. It made it OK for women everywhere to hate their bodies because Oprah did.
Last year, in a show in January 2009, I think it all came to a head when she announced on her show that she had “fallen off the wagon” as far as controlling her weight. It was like she said, “I’ve been so bad, and if you’ve been bad too, you can understand, right?” Personally, I sat on the couch and cried while watching that show. Here was the most powerful woman in our culture, arguably, saying she STILL wasn’t good enough. And the cover of her magazine showed the current Oprah standing next to the skinny Oprah. It was like she smacked herself in the face!
But in a recent show in mid-May and in her magazine, she interviewed Geneen Roth, author of the book Women, Food, and God, and seemed to have a revelatory breakthrough around weight. Oprah blew me away when she said, “What I realize when I look at that cover is that I publicly shamed myself. And in that cover, what I was saying is that the thin me deserves all the praise and the accolades. The thin me deserves to be loved, but the fat me does not…It’s your own self-loathing that does that.”
I have hope for Oprah and her own healing. I support her all the way, but I would love to see her also help shape our culture in a way that incites us to accept ourselves as we are.
Ad for Element skateboard’s from About-Face’s Gallery of Winners
Yeah, I’m glad you asked that, because I worry that my answer to the previous question sounds like I think health is not important. The concerns around the “obesity epidemic” are around health, and we are concerned about health, too. But physical health only comes from mental health. Self-acceptance leads to healthier behaviors, because you love yourself more and treat yourself with respect.
Our message is to encourage girls and women to see themselves from the inside out, not from the outside in. That is, eat and exercise healthily because you have respect for yourself and your body, not because you want to get thin or avoid being fat.
I’m not an expert on OB/GYN issues, but when we see a statement like this, from the New York Times article, we should pick it apart and be fully informed:
“And medical evidence suggests that obesity might be contributing to record-high rates of Caesarean sections and leading to more birth defects and deaths for mothers and babies.”
And unfortunately, there could be some avoidance of fat women happening among doctors. I have heard more than one OB/GYN say to me directly that they don’t want to deal with an obese woman. Could the doctors be deciding to do C-sections because they don’t want to “deal” with a woman’s body that is unwieldy for the medical staff? That’s just a guess on my part, but my point is that we need to look at all sides of this issue and really challenge our own beliefs.
This is a story by my six year old daughter. She just started blogging.
Baby Animals
Once upon a time, there was a forest. All animals lived in it: jaguars, cheetahs, birds, and all kinds of stuff.
One day a hunter came.
(1) Hunters kill animals.
(2) They kill whales
(3) They love to kill birds.
(4) They’re not nice to people.
(5) Sarah Palin is a hunter. She thinks it is OK to kill animals. Her partner, John McCain, agreed.
The hunters left the forest. All the animals were free. They lived happily ever after.
To put on this show, the jury reviewed works by 150 artists who responded to an international call for submissions. In the end, 20 artists were selected: 6 from the Bay Area, 4 additional U.S. artists, and artists from Japan, Kenya, Brazil, the Netherlands, China, India, Iran, and Canada. The subject matter ranges from teen community leaders in Richmond to opera singers in Brazil to seaweed farmers in Zanzibar.
www.sfartscommission.org
Seaweed Farmers of Zanzibar, Joanna Lipper
This is an absolutely stunning exhibition. Looking at the gorgeous photographs, I felt as if I were visiting all the countries featured, getting an intimate look at women’s everyday lives while I traveled around the world. You will leave this show inspired and impressed by the strength of these women, and convinced that investing in them will help to change the world.
Here are some stats on the global status of women, dry numbers that these photographs illustrate in a deeply personal way:
Women make up 70% of the world’s poor, those who live on less than $1 a day.
Women work 2/3 of the world’s working hours, yet earn only 10% of the world’s income.
Women are responsible for producing 60 – 80% of the world’s food, yet hold only 1% of the world’s land.
Worldwide, over 60% of people working in family enterprises without pay are women.
The total value of women’s unpaid house and farm work adds 1/3 to the world’s GNP.
One of the winning photographers, Joanna Lipper, along with being a filmmaker, author, and a Sheila Biddle Ford Foundation Fellow at the W.E.B Du Bois Institute For African and African American Studies at Harvard University, is also a Fellow of the Woodhull Institute for Ethical Leadership, an organization I co-founded that trains young women to be leaders and change agents.
www.sfartscommission.org
Seaweed Farmers of Zanzibar, Joanna Lipper
Lipper’s series is Seaweed Farmers in Zanzibar. Her photographs are so serene and beautiful, they look like paintings, evocative of art from past centuries of other women working, like Van Gogh’s Two Peasant Women Digging. The aqua colors of the sea against the horizon are mesmerizing, and the photos have an incredible grace; the women working together and the water’s movement looks like a dance. The lighting in the photos is beautiful, showing the passage of time, is reminiscent of a series like Monet’s haystacks.
Lipper says that her art, and the whole show, presents “photographers as social activists, provoking engagement on an individual level.” Because this is a free exhibition in public space, the nature of the show further underscores the political nature of the art; everyone has access. The show’s existence illustrates not only that art influences politics, but also that we are all interconnected– to each other, to the economy, and to the environment.
Lipper explains that what’s valuable about the seaweed that these farmers work so hard to obtain is the algae it contains. The seaweed is sold to local brokers an then exported to Europe and Asia where the algae is extracted. Not only is the algae used in products like shampoo and mascara, but preserved algae turns out to be one of the best alternative green biofuels and best aborbants of carbon dioxide.
Lipper goes into further detail of the seaweed farmer’s world role on her site:
Zanzibar is at a disadvantage when it comes to profits derived from Seaweed cultivation because the islands lack the large-scale infrastructure and hardware needed to process seaweed and extract valuable algae. Therefore the raw materials are shipped abroad. Without microfinance loans, improved education, and community organization amongst laborers, there can be no further growth for seaweed farming as a cash-generating economically empowering occupation for rural village women and this form of labor runs the risk of becoming obsolete in Zanzibar.
Other incredible photography includes work by Brenda Paik Sunoo who photographed the “diving grannies” Vietnamese women in their eighties who hunt for Octopus. The salt mining pictures were also breathtaking, all black and white, women mining pillars of salt. There was a series of photos of girls in Tehran that made me feel as if I were inside their house and part of their family. There was a moving portrait of a woman soldier from the Middle East.
There is a Community Choice prize you can vote for here. The International Museum of Women is an online art gallery and all of the photos can also be seen here.
Perez Hilton justified the crotch shot he posted to his Twitter feed of Miley Cyrus, claiming he was trying to teach her to act like a lady.
www.amazon.com
Perez isn’t the only guy around instructing women on how to behave. Derek Blasberg, a 27 year old from Missouri, recently came out with a modern manners how-to, just for the gentler sex: Classy: Exceptional Advice for the Extremely Modern Lady.
When I saw this at a bookstore, I thought it was a joke. Alas no, Blasberg sold his wisdom to a publisher, and it’s fast on it’s way to becoming a best-seller. In the intro Blasberg writes: “I can categorize the young women I’ve met through my trials and travails into two groups: ladies and tramps.”
It’s 2010– can we please stop recycling this age old virgin/ whore dichotomy? And while we’re at it, stop slut-shaming Miley Cyrus already, criticizing her clothing, her dancing, and her song lyrics in an endless 24 hour media cycle. Cyrus doesn’t need the media telling her how to behave anymore than women need advice from Blasberg on how to be classy.
No woman, in her twenties no less, would ever get way with writing a condescending tome like Blasberg’s and be recognized as some kind of witty authority on how a man can act like a man. But maybe she ought to. Here’s something for her first chapter: Don’t take and publish crotch shots. It’s not gentlemanly.
Carly Fiorina, doing what she can to set back the cause of women in politics: The California Republican nominee for the Senate refused to apologize to Senator Barbara Boxer after she was caught on camera mocking her hair. Asked about the incident by Greta Van Susteren, Fiorina said, “I was quoting a friend of mine. My goodness, my hair’s been talked about by a million people, you know? It sort of goes with the territory.” She then brought up her battle with cancer, saying, “Especially when you don’t have any. As you remember, I started out with none.”
Carly Fiorina
So Fiorina’s friend said the hair comment first and that makes it OK?
Then Fiorina says that she’s been made fun of before, so she’s allowed to make fun of other people? Um, Carly: two wrongs don’t make a right.
Next: It “goes with the territory?” Meaning it’s just fine to make fun of women in power for the way they look? After all, everybody does it.
The point of getting women into power positions is to change that dynamic, not perpetuate it. (Not to mention lead, not follow.)
And finally, Fiorina attempts to switch the issue in a bid for sympathy, playing the cancer card.
Maybe I’ll invite Fiorina over for a playdate, hoping some better manners rub off on her. But I won’t be voting for her for California senator. Who wants mean girls in political office?
Yesterday, The New York Times reported on an exciting, potential political candidate with a stellar resume. Which of these two photos do you think appeared on the paper’s front page?
www.nytimes.com
Diana Taylor
www.nytimes.com
Diana Taylor’s career began as an investment banker with Smith Barney; she then became superintendent of banking under Gov Pataki, emerging as a prescient watchdog who predicted the mortgage crisis; she was chair of Action, a leading microfinance lender which has distributed more than 23 million worldwide, and since last July, has been a member of the board of directors of Citigroup.
But New York Times readers don’t learn any of this information about Taylor’s credentials on the front page of the paper. Reading through this muddled article, whenever I found an actual fact on Taylor’s career, I felt the kind of joy of discovery I see my on my kids faces during a scavenger hunt.
It’s not only the cover photo of Taylor in evening wear with her boyfriend, the Mayor of New York, along with the late placement of her substantial qualifications, but the language of the article that continually sexualizes and trivializes Taylor’s ambition and her candidacy.
The headline reads: “She has the Mayor by her Side, But Politics is Wooing Her, Too.” When has politics ever “wooed” a male candidate? When considering a senatorial bid a few years ago, this dreamy lady “muses” what kind of “relationship” she’d have with then senator Chuck Schumer. Bill Paxon, former congressman, recalls a “previously undisclosed meeting…at the Ritz Carlton hotel,” but details of Taylor’s “flirtation” with the senate run have “remained hidden.” Is this a story about a tryst or a political career?
When The Times finally gets to reporting on Taylor’s professional history, page A-3, she “mixes” with global leaders, sounding as if she were flitting about various soirees. Describing her position as chair of Action, there is no quote from Taylor from that time, but instead rockstar, Bono, saying: “Diana, you know how I feel about you. But don’t tell the mayor.”
Isn’t the New York Times supposed to be a bastion of the liberal media elite and sensitive to sexism? I guess when it comes to reporting on women, the only party that matters is the kind you dress up for and running for office is just like dating.
Perez Hilton “Queen of All Media”
www.sfgate.com
Panasonic ad from About-Face’s Gallery of Winners
Ad for Element skateboard’s from About-Face’s Gallery of Winners
www.sfartscommission.org
www.sfartscommission.org
www.imow.org
www.amazon.com
Carly Fiorina
www.nytimes.com
www.nytimes.com