Stunning YA trilogy: ‘Graceling,’ ‘Fire,’ and ‘Bitterblue’

Posted on September 27, 2013 by margotmagowan

In the last few months, I was able to finally finish the Harry Potter series, then the Hunger Games series, and last night, finally, Kristen Cashore’s excellent trilogy: Graceling, Fire, and Bitterblue.

I love this series. Every book stars a brave and complex female protagonist. Every book also features a panoply of strong and fascinating female characters. Females are spies, fighters, queens, healers, on and on. There are also great male characters. The books also have heroic gay characters and disabled characters.

These books are disturbing. They deal with rape and incest, not directly, but implied and discussed in the book. If the reader doesn’t get the horror of those acts, she misses a lot of the story. Also, each book features a passionate love affair. My oldest kid is 10, and I would not let her read these because of the rape/ incest parts of the story. I don’t yet know what age would be appropriate because I’ve learned not to trust the recommendations I see around. In fact, that’s why I started Reel Girl. IMO, Cinderella gets a triple S for major gender stereotyping/ not appropriate for kids. I’m thinking 15 for Bitterblue because the sexual violence is central to the plot, but Graceling and Fire, age 12? But then again, rape and incest happen in the real world, so if this is going on or has happened in kids’ lives, reading about it would be a good thing. It’s such an individual choice. Let me know if you or your kids have any experience with these books.

Reel Girl rates Graceling, Fire, and Bitterblue ***HHH****

Walmart pulls toddler ‘Naughty Leopard’ costume

Posted on September 26, 2013 by margotmagowan

YAY for social media, us, and, most importantly, kids this Halloween. One costume down!

In response to concerned parents, Walmart pulled the Naughty Leopard costume for little girls off its shelves. Here’s Walmart’s apology:

“It was never our intention to offend anyone and we apologize to any customers who may have been offended by the name of the costume.”

Nice analysis from Babble:

It seems as if the producers of the product just got lazy and slapped on the “naughty” text out of habit since their factories perhaps also churn out outfits like the Naughty Nurse,Naughty Traffic Officer, or Naughty Little Red Riding Hood.

It’s a small victory in the scheme of things, but it’s something. Thank you to everyone who Tweets, comments on Facebook, or takes any action, no matter how small, to stop the daily sexualizing of little girls. Keep it up.

Would you rather your kid see M.I.A.’s finger or underage, half-dressed cheerleaders?

Posted on September 25, 2013 by margotmagowan

M.I.A. is refusing to pay the 1.5 million fine the NFL claims she owes after giving the finger during Madonna’s half time show.

Calling the stiff penalty “corporate dick shaking,” (ha ha, like my world play?) the singer argues that the scantily dressed, teen cheerleaders from Madonna’s show, recruited from a local high school, is worse for kids to see than her raised finger.

“Like, is my finger offensive? Or is an underage black girl with her legs wide open more offensive to the family audience?”

I have 3 daughters, ages 4 – 10, and I’d rather them see M.I.A.’s middle finger than yet another half naked teen celebrated on national TV for baring her body any day. What about you?

While we’re on this topic, here are two more images of females, one allowed on network TV and one not. Again, I ask parents: Which would you rather your child see?

The breast feeding picture is the “obscene” one, not even allowed on Facebook. So, please, share it widely. Protest the backwards way we value the female body, and of course, females themselves, in America.

Huzzah to M.I.A. Thank you for making these points that should be obvious yet somehow are not. I hope you never pay that fine. You’re a pussy!

In ‘Wildwood,’ once again, boy takes over for girl: Curtis usurps Prue’s quest

Posted on September 24, 2013 by margotmagowan

My seven year old daughter reported to me this morning that lost baby Mac of Wildwood was discovered by Curtis, not Prue. Oh, this made me mad!

Over the weekend, I blogged about Wildwood. I love the elaborate world-building in the book, the complex characters, and the writing, but both my daughter and I were disappointed that a book we thought was about a heroic girl, Prue, turns out to be about a heroic boy, Curtis. It’s Prue’s brother who is lost. Prue ventures into the wild to save him. It’s interesting because Curtis tags along after her, and at first, Prue tries to shake him off, but he won’t go away. Now I feel like Prue’s desire to get rid of Curtis is the manifestation (man-infestation, ha!) of the struggle of so many female characters who are forced to capitulate to the male characters, again and again.

If the gender roles of Wildwood weren’t part of a larger pattern, I’d have no problem with them. But as it stands, in kids media, strong female protagonists go missing. Curtis being the one to find missing baby Mac is such a dis and so intertwined into the story, I feel as pissed off about it as I was when Percy Jackson took over Clarisse’s quest in Sea of Monsters. I hate that my kids have to see this happen again and again.

I’m not done with the book yet and am holding out hope Prue will reclaim her role as the hero of this narrative, but its not looking good.

New study reports co-sleeping not so great for moms

Posted on September 23, 2013 by margotmagowan

A new study by Project Siesta reports that co-sleeping isn’t so great for mothers. Apparently, co-sleeping moms are tired, and guess what? Exhausted moms don’t make ideal care-givers for babies. My first thought: Did we really need a study to tell us that how tired mothers are? Apparently, yes. Most moms report co-sleeping is a positive experience.

Most other studies have relied solely on moms’ recollections, but the additional data provided some surprising revelations.

Co-sleeping moms thought their babies were waking up more frequently than they were in fact, and reported more wakings than moms of babies who slept by themselves. But actigraph results showed the babies were not actually waking up: The co-sleeping moms appeared to be overly sensitive to nighttime movement by their babies, and were reacting to normal arousals or sounds that take place while the babies continued to sleep soundly.

These findings are significant because co-sleeping moms may believe they’re more sensitive to their child’s night wakings, though in reality they’re ignoring their own needs (and not actually helping baby).

Thank you Project Siesta for studying the well being of MOMS and linking back to what should be obvious: happier moms make happier babies. The study goes on to report co-sleeping moms are more depressed and anxious. This study makes me wonder: What if our culture did a 180 and valued mothers not for their devotion to self-sacrifice but their skills in self-care? And what if our culture understood that self-care for many women, just like for many men, includes a career and a paycheck? Not to mention, of course, that moms who get paychecks provide money to put food on the table, get their kids healthcare, education, and on and on, which is part of ” good mothering” just like it’s part of “good fathering.” Finally, isn’t it healthy for kids to see moms modeling self-care so when they grow up, they know how to do it too and expect their partners to do the same?

Looking for perfect activity on a rainy day? Bella’s Mystery Deck

Posted on September 21, 2013 by margotmagowan

When our family plays games, there are fights and tears. I’ve blogged about Scrabble, Clue, card games, and there are moments of fun, but mostly, it’s miserable.

There is an activity that all three kids (ages 4 – 10) my husband, and I love, where everyone works together towards a goal: Bella’s Mystery Deck. We had 3 soccer games scheduled for 3 kids today, but due to bad weather and a scheduling mistake, 0 happened. Bella saved the day.

Bella is a 13 year old Mexican-American girl who lives in Tucson with her family and black lab, Noche. The game consists of 52 cards, each with a story that describes a mystery to solve. Besides Bella, the stories are full of colorful characters in Bella’s community. To check your answer, or find it out if you’re stumped, the package comes with a mirror to decipher the backwards writing at the bottom of each card. My kids love that part.

Bella is a female protagonist who is smart, brave, and kind. This game rocks.

The kick-ass Governess of ‘Wildwood’ is a brilliant character

Posted on September 21, 2013 by margotmagowan

My seven year old daughter and I are reading Wildwood. I was psyched by the description on the back of the book, which is all about a girl, Prue, rescuing her kidnapped brother. Unfortunately, early on, Prue partners up on her mission with a boy, Curtis. The story then alternates between Prue’s POV and Curtis’s, and, as my daughter pointed out, the Curtis parts are much better. While Prue is stuck in a town of boring politicians who speak about issues that Prue (and my daughter) don’t understand, Curtis gallops on a horse through the wilderness with a mysterious woman who lives with coyotes, the Governess.

If you read Reel Girl, you know that I track images in children’s media of females shown riding creatures, many of which are magical. While males are seen in this situation all the time, and the magical creature itself is often male, females, if they are get to do this at all, are relegated to a secondary position, aptly termed “riding bitch.”

Here is a beautiful illustration of the Governess and Curtis.

So far, she kind of reminds me of the latest incarnation of Women Who Run With Wolves.

We are only about one third through the book, so I am hoping that

(1) Prue’s role gets more exciting

(2) The Governess continues to play an important role

(3) Prue is the one to rescue her brother

I’ll keep you posted.

From my husband’s childhood bookshelf…

Posted on September 20, 2013 by margotmagowan

This is Raven, The Frozen God, a book which migrated to our house from my husband’s childhood bookshelf.

My husband assures me that in this series (there are 5) the females are main characters. All the men, he says, are sidekicks. I’d like to know how she scales icebergs in high-heeled boots. No hints on the back of the book:

From out of the bond of slavery, there arose a warrior…a warrior feared across all lands, a warrior whose blade was stained with the blood of thousands– man and beast– who smiled as she killed, with hair as gold as summer sun, eyes as blue as the heavens, and a body which invited only love yet dealt bloody, merciless death to her enemies.

He gave me a tour of the bookshelf, all kinds of fantasy books from the 70s and 80s, mostly small and paperback, stacked alongside novels by Cormac McCarthy, Herman Hesse, and Flannery O’Connor.

As a kid, my husband collected the brothers Hildenbrant who are famous for illustrating Tolkein. The legend is that one brother started from one side of the page, the other from the opposite side, and they met in the middle. Finally, they wrote their own book, Urshurak, which features my husband’s favorite warrior princess. Here she is, standing over her kill.

Got to say, she looks a little like me.

Who can tell me what these images have in common?

Posted on September 19, 2013 by margotmagowan

Stars of the Bratz TV series

Disney’s makeover for Merida (from Spring, 2013)

Elizabeth Arden ad “Beautiful gives her daughter something to look forward to.” (from 2012)

10 year old model in Vogue (from 2010)

Hint: If you were a Martian who landed on earth, what would you think is valuable, important, or powerful about females of the human species? What would you think is important about females if you were a little girl looking at all this? And if you a boy looking?

What’s the difference between parents of pageant kids and you?

Posted on September 19, 2013 by margotmagowan

Did you know that tween girls spend 40 million a month a beauty products? Another fun fact: The percentage of eight- to twelve-year-olds who regularly use mascara and eyeliner doubled between 2008 and 2010.

This info is from Peggy Orenstein’s best-selling book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter. Here’s the passage where she writes about the difference between the parents of child pageant competitors and “ordinary” parents:

No question, they have taken the obsession with girl’s looks to an appalling extreme; but, one could argue, the difference between them and the rest of us may be more one of degree than of kind. “Ordinary” parents might balk at the $3,000 dress or the spray tan but guess what? in 2007, we spent a whopping $11.5 billion on clothing for our seven to fourteen-year-olds, up from $10 billion in 2004. Close of half to six to nine year old girls regulatry use lipstick or gloss, presumably with parental approval; the precentage of eight to twelve year olds who regularly use mascara and eyeliner doubled between 2008 and 2010, to 18 and 15 percent respectively. “Tween” girls now spend more than $40 million a month on beauty products. No wonder Nair, the depilatory maker, in 2007 released Nair Pretty, a fruit-scented line designed to make ten-year-old conscious of their “unwanted” body hair. And who, according to the industry tracking group, NPD, most inspires girls’ purchases? Their moms. AS a headline on the cheeky feminist Web site Jezebel.cm asked, “How Many 8 Year Olds Have to Get Bikini Waxes Before We Can All Agree the Terrorists Have Won?