Author Archives: margotmagowan

Disney’s ‘Winnie the Pooh’ leaves girls out

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Here’s the poster for Disney’s new summer movie ‘Winnie the Pooh.’ Notice someone missing?

Here’s a hint– I blogged about a poster of Gnomeo and Juliet that had the same invisible issue, in spite of the movie title, no less, though that ratio was 9 to 0.

Disney's Winnie the Pooh movie poster

Here’s the cast of ‘Winnie the Pooh’:

Winnie the Pooh

Eyeore

Owl

Christopher Robin

Tigger

Kanga

Piglet

Roo

Rabbit

Disney’s new movie stars eight males and one female. I know this because I’ve been watching Caillou (another boy-starring cartoon named after the boy it stars) on PBS with my two year old daughter. The commercials for summer’s new animated Pooh movie cycle on. So as my daughter meets Tigger and the others (we haven’t seen Kanga yet) she’s learning, once again, that girls are not that important in imaginary world. Just like the real one. So much for telling her she can grow up to be president.

Shelf Awareness reviews ‘Sugar In My Bowl’

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The pieces in this anthology run the spectrum from prudish–Julie Klam half-ashamedly admits that until recently, her six-year-old daughter believed women’s private parts were simply called “the front”–to downright erotic–Susan Cheever’s “Sex with Strangers” explores the pleasures and perks of doing just that–and everything in between. Anne Roiphe and J.A.K. Andres examine children’s curiosity about sex, while Elisa Albert and Margot Magowan consider the impact of children on a couple’s sexual relationship. Jennifer Weiner and Karen Abbott create characters who persist in seeking sexual connection despite very real challenges of age and health.

But fantasy and play also figure large in Sugar in My Bowl, as Rosemary Daniell and gossip columnist Liz Smith remember former lovers whose touches linger for decades, and Rebecca Walker contends that, thanks to fantasy, the best sex she ever had was sex she never had.

Sugar in My Bowl is proof positive that women can write seriously about sex and live to tell. It represents a remarkable smorgasbord of experience and perspective, and there’s a dish here for everyone.

Read the full review here.

Oreos for breakfast? Really?

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 After reading ReelGirl’s ‘Notes to the babysitter‘  post on my ‘let them eat cake’ (for breakfast) approach to feeding my three daughters, Babble.com’s Madeline Holler blogs on strollerderby:

No bad food, no bad food, no bad food. Come on! Oreos are bad food!

But, she’s got an open mind:

I remember when my daughter was 3, a child development expert talked about how important that kids be able to have a food shelf that they have unfettered access to. I tried it, but (1) we lived in a super small place then, too — couldn’t spare a low drawer in the cabinets and (2) I copped out and put “good” crap in there that she wasn’t all that jazzed about (which I’m sure was exactly my plan!).

I know I need to share my kitchen, my shopping list and my food, and let my kids drive their own eating. We have very little junk in the house and lots of fresh stuff, which they like. Sure, my kids rave about junky sweets, etc., but they also ask for fruit to snack on, don’t blanch at whole grain pasta or bread and one even orders up lentils whenever she gets to pick what’s for dinner. All good!

So it’s really me who is in the way. I’m not particularly worried about eating disorders — whether or not I change my ways — but I think it can’t be anything but infantalizing for older kids to have to ask if they can have a popsicle. It’s got to start sometime. It might as well be now.

Like every parent, I’d love to see into the future and know if I’m making the right choices for my kids. All I know is that my decisions about food feel right for our family. Our meal times are peaceful, my kids eat lots of ‘healthy’ food, and are adventurous eaters. (My seven year old’s absolute favorite food is kimbap– do you know what that is? Read about it here.)

For me, it comes down to this: Can you imagine being told what to eat? And how much? What if you were in the mood for a crunchy salad but someone forced you to eat roasted chicken? What we choose to eat is so personal with many factors involved including how hungry we are, what we ate last, if it’s hot or cold outside, the list goes on. How could anyone possibly know what you ‘should’ eat but you?

I suppose following someone else’s orders about what to eat is exactly what a diet is. But could that be why we’re so screwed up about food? Because since day one we’ve been trained to have no clue how to listen and respond to our own bodies?

Notes to the babysitter

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Finally, went away with my husband for 2 nights. The kids were alone with sitters for the first time on overnights. Here are my (pretty hilarious) instructions to our fabulous caretakers about food:

Hi guys,

The kitchen is stocked, here are some guidelines:

ALICE IS ALLERGIC TO EGGS

even though I just wrote that in caps, please don’t make a big deal about this in front of her. I did, at first, making her terrified and shy about trying foods. Her allergy is very mild, don’t worry about checking ingredients, just ask her to pay attention to how her mouth feels. If the food has eggs in it, her tongue may get itchy and she will stop eating on her own. But, obviously, don’t give her eggs. I am writing about this because both Lucy and Rose love scrambled eggs for breakfast. You can also hard boil Lucy eggs for her lunch at Zoo camp.

Otherwise, as I think you know, the kids are allowed to eat what they want, when they want. They each have their own foodshelf in the cupboard. The order from top to bottom is Lucy, Alice, Rose. In the fridge, Lucy is in the middle, Alice the drawer above, Rose below drawer below. How it works is you make their meal– cereal, eggs, pasta, whatever. They cannot keep asking for food or ask you to keep making food. You are not a short order cook or servant. If they do not like what you made or do not feel like eating it, they can get whatever they want from their foodshelves, bring it to the table and eat it. I don’t care if they eat cereal for dinner or oreos for breakfast. Just make sure you put something healthy out.

If someone runs out of something on her foodshelf and the other kid is eating that thing in front of her, she has to share it or put it away.

NOT ALLOWED
to eat after dinner because they use eating to manipulate bedtime
to eat something in front of the other, if she doesnt have any, without sharing
to keep asking you to make food

Also, please do not use food as a reward. If you want, you can use the event of going out to get something and eating there as the reward, but not the food. If you promise them food, you should be prepared to give it to them even if they misbehave.

Here’s some stuff in the kitchen now that they like:

Cereal
Eggs (Rose and Lucy)
Fishsticks in freezer (Alice loves with ketchup)
Pasta
Tortellini
Bagels
Broccoli
Asparagus
Frozen peas
Chicken with stars soup (Alice loves)
Black beans (Alice loves)
Whipped Yoplait yogurt (Alice loves)
Wonder bread, ham, cheese, salami, jelly/ butter sabwich, rice cakes with peanut butter, granola bars– all can be for Lucy’s lunch

You will probably need to buy milk. I’m leaving an envelope of $ for each of you. Let me know if you had to spend more.

PLEASE PUT SUNSCREEN ON LUCY BEFORE CAMP, make sure she has water bottle for camp

THANK YOU GOOD LUCK!

More info on how I feed my kids in order to prevent eating disorders (or, possibly to document exactly how I screwed them up)  here.

More reviews for Sugar In My Bowl

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From  Loquaciously Yours:

For those of us who’ve been left/betrayed or afraid we’re about to be, and that’s probably most of us, a head’s up about Margot McGowan’s intense and beautifully narrated piece Light Me Up—have a box of Kleenex handy and a friend’s phone number close by.

Read the rest here.

Peggy Orenstein counts girls

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Peggy Orenstein blogged about the typical response she gets when she points out kids’ movies are mostly all about boys. People argue there’s gender equality, pointing out token ‘strong girls:’ what about Jesse in Toy Story? Dory in Finding Nemo? That girl chef in Ratatouille?

Here’s the problem: The girl is not the star of the movie! The movie is not her story, her experience. Hermione is a great character, smart and strong, but the series belongs to Harry. It’s all about Harry’s quest. It’s Harry’s adventure.

The reason this is so important is because its literal programming, training girls that no matter how brilliant they may be, they will be limited to supporting roles.

Orenstein does a great count of boy versus girl characters in Pixar films. Read her blog here.

Erica Jong on Anthony Weiner

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From TIME:

Best-selling author Erica Jong knows a thing or two about sexual politics. Her taboo-breaking 1973 novel, Fear of Flying, has sold 20 million copies in over 40 languages. Jong still has the magic touch when it comes to literature about women and eros: her new anthology of essays and short stories, Sugar in My Bowl: Real Women Write About Real Sex (Ecco) — featuring contributions from Anne Roiphe, Gail Collins, Jennifer Weiner and many others — is getting terrific early reviews. Jong spoke with TIME senior reporter Andrea Sachs from her Manhattan home about Anthony Weiner, Dominique Strauss-Kahn (DSK), Arnold Schwarzenegger and other powerful misbehaving men in the news.

Read the full TIME interview here. Read more about Sugar In My Bowl here.

Don’t mess with Reel Grrls

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I got this email from a friend. Check it out and give these girls some $$$

Dear Joe,

Help the Grrls Who Said NO to Comcast

This time Comcast has gone too far.

When Seattle’s Reel Grrls – an award-winning program that teaches teenage girls to make their own media – criticized Comcast on Twitter for its outrageous hiring of FCC Commissioner Meredith Attwell Baker, Comcast came after them.

A Comcast VP immediately fired off an email saying the company was cutting off $18,000 in funding it had pledged for a summer camp teaching filmmaking, editing and screenwriting. Without those funds, the Reel Grrls camp won’t happen.

We need to stand up to Comcast’s censors – and show these young media justice activists we’ve got their backs.

Can you give $25 to Reel Grrls to keep their summer camp going without Comcast’s cash?

Reel Grrls didn’t back down or delete their tweet. They didn’t let Comcast silence them. Instead, they called their allies and alerted the media.

And once the Wall Street Journal, Washington Post and Associated Press got hold of the story, Comcast suddenly changed its tune. It claimed the threats were “unauthorized” and said it wouldn’t yank the funds.

But Reel Grrls are sticking to their principles. They’re telling Comcast to keep its money if it’s going to try to censor what they say.

It’s not easy for any nonprofit to turn down $18,000. That’s why Free Press and the Center for Media Justice are asking our supporters to chip in and make sure the Reel Grrls summer camp stays open.

Show your support – help our allies stand up to Comcast’s censors

Reel Grrls are training the next generation of media makers and activists. Their brave and inspiring response under pressure should be a lesson to all of us in how to defend free speech and stand up to bullies like Comcast.

Now it’s our turn to show them that their allies in the movement for better media won’t let them down. Please visit the Reel Grrls site and give as much as you can.

In solidarity,

Craig Aaron
Free Press

Malkia Cyril
Center for Media Justice

P.S. Check out this fabulous video the Reel Grrls made telling their side of the story bit.ly/kM4Wnw.

1. Washington Post, “Tweet about FCC member’s new job at Comcast sets off firestorm,” May 19, 2011: washingtonpost.com/business/economy/tweet-about-fcc-members-new-job-at-comcast-sets-off-firestorm/2011/05/19/AFZNiP7G_story.html

2. The Street, “Comcast’s Revenge for Tweet: Today’s Outrage,” May 20, 2011: thestreet.com/story/11126955/1/comcasts-revenge-for-tweet-todays-outrage.html

Reviews of ‘Sugar In My Bowl’

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From Kirkus:

The approaches to the still-taboo topic of feminine sexuality—at least, for women writers seeking approbation from the literary establishment—are, as Jong notes, “as varied as sexuality itself” and as exuberantly diverse as the contributors themselves. They range from such emerging talents as Elisa Albert and J.A.K. Andres to such luminaries as Rebecca Walker, Eve Ensler, Susan Cheever, Anne Roiphe and Fay Weldon, and represent a multiethnic, multigenerational swath of some of the finest women writers in the United States. Most of the pieces deal with the perennial themes of sexual coming-of-age, social and religious sexual hang-ups and lusty obsessions for male bodies (as well as female ones). Some deal with lesser-discussed—but no less important—subjects like procreative sex and eroticism in old age. Still others fearlessly explore fetishism, childhood masturbation, kink, sexual addiction and the excitement that, in the words of Linda Gray Sexton, comes from “the offering up of one’s body like a sacrifice upon the temple of the bed.” While sex is the source of life and some of the most powerful joys—and agonies—imaginable, it is also invariably linked to death. And that, writes Jong, “is part of our discomfort with it.” But the contributors to this collection never make sex facile. As they work against cultural expectations and literary double standards, they make women’s depictions of “doing it” just another aspect of a more fully realized human consciousness.

A smart, scrumptiously sexy romp of a read.

From Salon:

As soon as I cracked opened Erica Jong’s new anthology, “Sugar in My Bowl: Real Women Write About Real Sex,” I was overcome with giddiness. The table of contents boasted female writers from august publications sharing the most intimate aspects of their lives. It isn’t common for serious female writers — the sort who write about respectable issues like politics and poverty — to dip their toes into that piranha-infested lake of personal judgment and criticism. Just as good girls don’t talk about sex, good-girl writers don’t write about sex. Not only can it be devastating personally, but it can also earn you a professional reputation as a chick lit author or, worse, a sex writer.

But here was Ariel Levy — author of the treatise against porn culture, “Female Chauvinist Pigs” — taking a break from her highbrow analyses of gender and sexual politics for the New Yorker to write about the first time she had sex. That’s not to mention: Gail Collins of the New York Times remembering the anti-sex education she received at her Catholic girls high school; Slate’s Meghan O’Rourke seeking solace in sex after her mother’s death; and novelist Anne Roiphe recalling playing doctor with a male friend at age 5, and then again as teenagers.

Read the rest from Salon here.

Read ReelGirl’s post on Sugar In My Bowl here.

The book comes out June 14. You can pre-order it here.

Schwarzenegger on single moms

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Here’s Schwarzenegger’s take on single moms in 2001:

“The parents are the single most important influence on a child, followed by education and the peer group…The number of single parents in the U.S. has quadrupled since the ’60s, and there has also been an increase in violence and school shootings. All that stuff has increased largely because of a lack of parenting, and many households only have one biological parent — so many of them are fatherless. It really creates a big problem.”

An excellent speech on the importance of good parenting. Just one thing. Schwarzenegger should’ve made clear that this ‘big problem’ only applies when the dad is not a movie star. For those tragic cases, Schwarzenegger could say:

“Unfortunately, I can’t be the one to impregnate all the women in California. Therefore, we’ve got to put some policies in place to better support those women who are not involved with me or with men like me. Many women in California, I’m sorry to say, will need to find a way to financially support themselves.

So, first, we must significantly increase the minimum wage which is predominantly earned by the female dominated service industry.

We’ve also got to make it a high priority that all women in California and their children get access to affordable health care.

We must expand family planning and funding services, making sure they are available to all women. We should lead the country in mandating that all health insurance providers cover contraception.

Because teen pregnancy is the number one indicator that the mother and her child will spend a life in poverty, we must make it the highest priority to reduce teen pregnancies. All schools must teach sex education including STD prevention.

And speaking of those public schools, we’ve got to fix the broken public school system of California, ranked as one of the worst in the country. Only when women are well educated can they acquire good jobs that enable them to become breadwinners for themselves and their families.

I’ve decided to follow the great example of my Democrat wife, Maria Shriver, a well-known advocate for women. Without her support, I could never get elected (especially with pesky tattle-tales accusing me of groping them.) Improving the status of women in this state will also be my priority, because, though there are many womanizer bosses in California, I’ve come to realize, there are simply not enough of us to go around.”

In recent times, we’ve seen the tide turn. After discovering secret affairs, instead of standing by their men, several high profile women decided not to stick around. The list includes Jenny Sanford, Elin Nordegren, Eva Longoria, Sandra Bullock, and, now, Maria Shriver. I guess that’s progress for the women who can afford to leave.