Some British guy just proposed to Alice on the TV commercial previewing the movie. I am so bummed. I’ve been hoping they didn’t fuck up Alice in Wonderland. Now, I’m worried.

Alice replies, “This is all happening so fast. Let me just take minute.” Then she goes down the rabbit hole. Maybe this ad is skewing the story, and the film is not really about this (which would still annoy me with lame advertising, but not as much as if they really messed up the movie) Isn’t Alice a kid, anyway? Doesn’t she fall asleep while her sister is reading her a book without pictures? Maybe that abstinence only study for sixth graders is relevant after all (see my last post.)

I am frustrated that the plotlines of so many (all?) contemporary movies with girls in big parts always feature marriage as central issue.

Yes, now the girl protagonist is often reluctant to marry, she doesn’t go off with the first guy who kisses her out of unconsciousness; she doesn’t make the obvious, predictable choice (see Mulan, Ariel, Belle and now possibly Alice escaping off to Wonderland) but the plotline is still focused on marriage, rebellion within the safest possible framework. I’d prefer no marriage debate at all, just like in the boy movies. Did Fantasic Mr. Fox or Up have its main characters face this dilemma? In case you didn’t see them, rhetorical question. Actually, I didn’t even see Up and I know I’m right.

I hope Tim Burton doesn’t pull a Dora and turn another cool girl into a Princess. I’d feel better if the film had a female director and a female star whose name I recognized instead of promoting Johnny Depp all over the place. Things are not looking good, but it’s Alice in Wonderland for God’s sake, I’m holding out hope.

It’s all over the internet that a study has found abstinence only programs may work for teens. The headlines fail to mention to mention the teens being studied are sixth and seventh graders! Barely “teens.” I’d be encouraging these kids not to have sex too. It’s a completely different demographic and maturity level than highschool kids. Its so misleading for the media to present the story this way.

I saw Naomi Wolf on Joy Behar’s show the other night talking about “sexual gradulaism.” I love that term  which I am pretty sure she made up. Wolf wants to bring back heavy petting and argues that when girls learn about their own bodies and how they work, they delay sex and don’t get pregnant. Research of lower teen pregnancy rates in Europe where sex ed is part of the curriculum (and female sexuality seems to me much more accepted and celebrated than in my puritanical home country) back her up. Though the guy on the show with Wolf would not shut up about abstinence. I think his name was Steve, because Naomi kept saying, “Were you abstinent until marriage, Steve?” Steve thought his personal behavior wasn’t relevant to the discussion.

This is a totally random book, part of the Shrek franchise, cheaply made and printed (the same soft, stapled cover as My Little Pony & Berenstain Bears series.) I have no idea how it got on our bookshelf, but I love it. It’s hilarious.

I’m mostly a Shrek fan, because the whole message that beauty is found on the inside is communicated in an original and effective way. The final makeunder when Fiona transforms into an ogre is well done. I’m so sick of the “beauty and the beast” scenario repeated ad infintum in kids movies and adult ones (see latest Judd Apatow flick) where the overwieght, dorky stoner scores the beauty. I do look forward to the day when the hot guy falls for the “ugly” or fat girl– in cartoon world and the grown up one– because her humor or brains make her so compelling. But at least two beasty green creatures in love is one step in that direction. I have my other complaints about Shrek: he’s the star in his eponymous movie, and Fiona’s storyline is the typical princess scenario culminating with the marriage and happily ever after.

I was most disappointed with Shrek 3 where Fiona’s part is drasticaly reduced, becoming primarily a father/ son story, with Justin Timberlake as the new co-star. Now I know what was happening when Fiona was MIA. Fiona’s Fairy-tale Five is about the drama back at the castle when Shrek went off on his (very male) quest to find an heir.

Fiona is home having a baby shower with her friends Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel etc when Prince Charming storms the castle, trying to stage a coup. The princesses must stop the festivities and defend the castle. Charming is one of my favorite movie bad guys; I love how his suaveness comes off as smarmy and how he’s so un-charming. The story shows the gang of princesses work together (rare to get to see princesses in any kind of group and functioning as a team) to vanquish Charming. It’s fun to see all the princesses in one story and also totally consistent with the Shrek movies which always feature mutiple fairy tale characters meeting up. I think this flimsy book would make a great movie, so much better than boring Shrek 3.

All the princesses surprise themselves and each other, becoming brave heroines. I especially like how Sleeping Beauty snaps out of her daze with some awesome fight moves and when Fiona’s mom says to her, “You didn’t actually think you got these fighting skills from your father, did you?”

The following standards would urge caution for parents: any movie

1. where the leading woman is ten years younger (or more) than the leading man

2. where the mother’s real life age is the same as the guy playing her son

3. with a sidekick best friend who is super attractive but supposed to be unattractive because she’s wearing glasses

4. where the girl in glasses gets a makeover

5. where all the female roles are girlfriends or supporting

6. with cheerleaders

male frontal nudity is OK

female frontal nudity is OK only if it’s shown as a quick glimpse, coming out of the shower or in the locker room, not in a lingering sexual way (or the whole movie gets an NC-17 or X rating)

This story gets a ***GG*** rating, and it has no major female characters. How is this possible?

Because it breaks stereotypes with a simple reversal. When I read stories, I often make gender switches in my head, to reveal the kinds of characteristics and plotlines we’ve heard so many times that we just take them for granted as something believable or successful. Anytime a story does the shake up for me, inspiring a jaded reader to think in a new way, I’m grateful. Next to the helpless, passive princess, wolves are probably the most maligned creature in fairy tale world. (About ten years a go, another writer made the same kind of connection when she compiled an anthology of myths about brave female protagonists called Women who Run with the Wolves.)

In the first scene of Three Little Wolves, we see these wolves as vulnerable, they are shown with their mother, described as cuddly, with soft fur and fluffy tails. Their mother urges them to go out in the world with the warning, “But beware of the big, bad pig.”

The story follows the classic model, describing the wolves’ adventures and challenges as they attempt to build safe homes for themselves, continually destroyed by the malicious, resourceful pig. I highly recommend this book. It’s so funny and poetic, reminiscent of Steig stories, and it has a beautiful ending.

The novelist and blogger, thinks they should.

I was thrilled to see this topic in the NY Times book blog. Though most comments to his post seem to disagree with him, thinking kids books should not be rated, that to do so is some horrible form of censorship.

I don’t see that at all. I see it as censoring the censors. Ha! Their ridiculous standards and values have ruled over our kids for far too long in an insane monopoly– I’m raging about the MPAA again. I know the MPAA doesn’t rate books, but they set a standard of what is “good” and what is “bad” that everyone seems to follow along with.

I’m not sure if Buchsbaum would agree or disagree with my major complaint that the typical censor/ rating types are not sensitive to or even aware of  or don’t believe things are damaging that I think are damaging and vice versa. His complaints seem to be with with adult themes and content finding their way into teen books.

Buchsbaum does rightly point out, anyway, that ratings are a guide, not censorship. Who has the time to read every kids book? See every movie? Examine every toy etc. I created this blog so parents could have some kind of resource to know about some alternatives out there to all the sterotypes the general media programs to our kids 24/7.

Phaedra is an adult play that I went to see last night with another adult, and this is supposed to be a blog about kids media, but I have to write about this play for the sake of womankind. But before I do, I want say– I had a great time going out–Moms, you’ve got to do it. Grown up time! Whoo-hoo! No cartoons! And spending time with my friend, having a glass of champagne at the Huntington Hotel was lovely. The play was well acted and engaging, but it got me so mad. I did try to imagine it in its time, before feminism blah blah blah.

It was a play about Greek mythology– what did I expect? Well, Greek mythology often illustrates the world in flux, before male domination completely took over, so often a powerful woman or two slips through in her full glory of female power as a goddess or a queen or heroine or something. Right before I went, I heard this play was about an older woman falling for a younger man, so I assumed, I wouldn’t be watching yet another Hollywood movie scenario of older man paired with nubile ingenue, that I was going to get a glimpse of female sexual empowerment.

But, no. The damn Greeks did not come through for me, and I was a philosophy major and should’ve known better. The play is by Racine, who I bet even by French/ Seventeenth century standards wasn’t the most progressive guy in town. It was obviously, also his interpretation of an ancient story, which, should we say, would differ from my own take on it if I were a famous playwright myself instead of blogging about famous playwrights.

Phaedra, the star of the play is totally humiliated and degraded for allowing lust to exist in her heart. It destroys her and her family and her lover. She is married to Theseus but falls in love/lust with his son, Hippoltytus. Another thing that annoyed me about the play, by the way, is the supposedly over the hill Theseus was way hotter, more charismatic, and a better actor than his stringy haired son, moping aound in his ill-fitting baggy leather pants. Nonetheless, Queen Phaedra confesses her love to this son, gets rejected by him (read major, pathetic humiliation here, moaning all around the stage, twisting her hair, punching her breast) and then Phaedra lets her husband beleive that Hippoltytus raped her (a popular, contemporary “myth” women have to deal with every day which is an issue I have with letting my complaints go b/c of the time). Theseus then curses his innocent son, who loved an innocent young woman, and the son soon dies. End of play– the theme being, repeated by most characters, that reason is good/ strong while love/lust is weak and bad.

I know the Greeks have done a lot of great things for civilization such as creation of goverment etc, but my (not orginal) beef with them is their central philosophical tenet of dualisms, popularized and further institutionalized, of course, by Descartes. Basically, the Greek philosophers believe: (1) the mind and body are separate (2) the mind/ reason is good, true, stable, immortal (3) the body is weak, defiled, emotional, untrustworthy, mortal (4) The way we understand and experience the world can be sorted into these dualisms. Guess which category those gender polar opposites, man and woman fall into? Answer of course: man– mind, reason, good; woman– emotion, body, bad

Here is what I think: the mind is part of the body (and located throughout the body– modern science now supports that if you care). Emotions are intelligent. The world does not separate into simple oppositions as former president, George Bush, would have liked, and maybe if we had not all been so influenced by the dualistic Greeks, we wouldn’t have so unanimously agreed to fight a complex war with a multitude of factions and tribes we can’t even understand. And, finally, just one more thing about the damn Greeks, their dualisms, and my re-occuring eating disorder theme– belief in these dualisms is why we are so messed up about food. Just listen to your body! It’s smart. Not some stupid calorie/ fat gram reasoned, researched, fact supported chart, which has no idea who you are or what you need. Let your body guide you and stop being at war with it. We are all going to die. Not sure how to deal with that, but that’s the real struggle underneath all of this, right? Did Rousseau– of noble savage fame– write any plays???