Geraldo partly blames teen’s hoodie

“I’ll bet you money that if he didn’t have that hoodie on, that nutty neighborhood watch guy wouldn’t have responded in that violent and aggressive way,” Rivera said.

Please read this whole story here, there’s more.

Geraldo, I’m a 5’3 white female. Do you think if I were wearing a hoodie, someone would think I was a menace and shoot me? If I were wearing a short skirt and heels, someone might rape me. African-Americans and women really ought to choose clothing more carefully.

Believe the hype: ‘The Hunger Games’ is amazing

I just saw it. LOVED it! The acting is so great. It is perfectly cast from Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss to Wes Bentley as the gamemaker to Donald Sutherland as President Snow.

I was concerned that Hollywood would mess up the book somehow, but I was so impressed with this adaptation. Here are some aspects of the movie that I was especially grateful for:

Hollywood does not sexualize Jennifer Lawrence’s Katniss in any way: When I was reading the book and came across certain scenes, I was sure this would happen.  When Katniss strips down before she meets her stylist, Cinna (another perfect casting, played by Lenny Kravitz) I thought to myself: Here’s where they’re going to show her naked. But they didn’t. Not even a bare shouldered camera shot to hint at nudity. In that particular scene, she’s shown wearing a hospital gown. In the book, where a female tribute traces Katniss’s lips with her knife, I thought: In the movie, there’s going to be some kind of S & M lesbian vibe going on. Negative thoughts, I know, but so many great books have been ruined on the screen. Turns out, in the movie this knife scene is only frightening.

They are an equal number of male and female tributes: A male and female are chosen from each district.  I thought about this because when I get upset about the lack of females in Hollywood roles, I get comments all the time like: Do you want equal rights in drafting? Do you want equal rights for characters who play dumb people? Yes and yes. I’m against drafting, but also against men being drafted and not women. As far as men playing more dumb people (I just got this comment again in response to my criticism about the lack of female characters in the upcoming, animated “Pirates!”) I don’t want females to be only portrayed as smart, brave heroines. Women are no better than men. I want women portrayed as the complex characters that they are. In movies, often different character traits get assigned to different characters. I want women to get to play all the parts. I want women to exist. In “The Hunger Games” females span the spectrum: they are lethal, kind, cruel, weak, brave, shy, serious, superficial and complicated.

There is no mention in the movie that Katniss is the exception of her gender: So often when you see a female protagonist who you could call a feminist, she is portrayed as the exception of her gender. You’ll see her surrounded by males or even see her dressed up as a male, Mulan style. I don’t mind this once in a while, but it happens too often. Never in “The Hunger Games” does any character say that Katniss can fight as well as a boy, is as smart as a boy, acts like a boy, or can do anything a boy can. No character reacts to her skill or bravery with: “Wow, a girl can shoot!” In this way, “The Hunger Games” breaks free of Hollywood’s gender matrix to create a truly feminist movie.

Females work together to save each other: It is so rare in Hollywood to get to see two females in an action adventure movie act bravely in order to save each other. The scenes with Katniss and Rue were my favorite in the book and my favorite in the movie. (Part of what is so great about these scenes is also the lethal Tracker Jackers, genetically engineered wasps whose poison stings make the victim go mad with hallucinations before she dies.)

Besides my own personal feminist take on everything, this is such a great movie. All of the acting was impressive. I’d read the book so I knew what was going to happen, and I was still on the edge of my seat. The filming was engrossing, it was done with lots of close camera shots; everything seemed so close and real, it was terrifying. I loved the scenery, watching how the Capital was depicted as well as the Districts and the arena. The whole commentary on reality TV and selling out to please the crowd is well communicated. Hollywood added just a little more perspective from the Gamemakers than is in the book, and I thought those scenes were also really well done. If you’re concerned about violence, the movie is not gory. Also, please remember that violence in the imaginary world is metaphorical. Don’t take that metaphor away from females. Katniss shows us how to be a survivor without losing your soul, how to play to win but keep your morals. That’s a universal, human lesson. Katniss is a great heroine,  a modern day Artemis. I can’t wait for the next two movies.

Reel Girls rates “The Hunger Games” ***HHH*** (I’m replacing Gs for Girlpower with H for Heroine in Reel Girls’ rating system. Girlpower seems over used and to have lost its meaning to me; I’ll change it throughout Reel Girl when I get a chance)

Reel Girl going skiing, right after 10AM showing of ‘Hunger Games’

Reel Girl will not be posting until next week because it’s  Spring Break and we’re headed to Tahoe in a storm. Eek.

Maybe we’ll try out snowskating. Have you heard of this? It’s like skateboarding on snow. Apparently, the snowskate was initially created as a toy for kids.

I’m playing hooky today, packing and sneaking off to “The Hunger Games” with my sister. I may try to get out one last post on the movie before I go.

New book recs are coming when I get back including the amazing Super Tool Lula. So fantastic!

See you next week!

Margot

Time Magazine tells us everything is great for women

Hours ago, I posted about the pathetic stats for women in power positions.

I wrote about this because I received yet another comment on my blog about how females have achieved parity and males are the ones in trouble. The stats behind this argument is that girls are half or soon to be half of students in law, medical school, art school, engineering, business etc.

One more time: women’s education is not translating to equal pay and equal professional status.

OK, here’s the new Time Magazine cover:

So why is this cover claiming women are “The Richer Sex” coming out right when America seems to be finally catching on that women’s rights are under attack?

Hmmmm…

People will see this cover, without even reading the story, as I haven’t yet, and conclude everything is fabulous for women. It’s not. Stats at the top have not changed for women. People in power across the board– business, politics, media, doctors, law, art– are men.

The spin on this article is pretty brilliant. From the cover, you can tell it’s not going to be that “women are achieving so much, so fast that males are the ones who need support.” No, it’s going to be that “women are achieving so much so fast, getting so very rich, becoming richer than men, and that’s good for men!” That way, feminists are supposed to be grateful for Time’s piece and somehow not notice that a national news magazine’s cover is actually referring to women as the richer sex. WTF?

I will read this article and see why the cover reads: “Women are overtaking men as America’s breadwinners” because right now I say BULLSHIT! There you have it in writing.

I’ll report back.

Solution for three year old’s dress obsession that makes everyone happy

A while back, I posted about how by the time I’ve dropped my daughter off at preschool, she’d gotten about ten comments about how cute she is and how cute her dress is.

Not long after preschool started, the second someone would see her, my daughter, just like her two sisters before her, would immediately rip off her sweatshirt as if she were Wonder Woman, exposing her cuteness to be admired by all. Everyone wants to be admired, right? That’s human. What isn’t OK is for girls to funnel so much of that desire for attention and admiration, for success and achievement through their appearance. My God, the training starts young.

So this is my third daughter that I’ve been through this pre-school/ dress obsession metamorphosis with. I’ve tried so many things: not putting them in dresses which led to tantrums. (These kids are smart. They know what’s happening. No one is going to take away the spotlight.) I tried deflecting comments from grown ups which can lead to awkward silences and confusion. I tried having adult conversations with my daughter that there was no way she could understand.

Then, something amazing happened. My washing machine broke down. Unable to wash many clothes, I let my daughter pick her favorites and made sure to keep those clean. When my daughter wore the same three or four dresses, her VERY favorites, over and over for three weeks, her teachers, the other moms, everyone stopped telling her how cute her dress was all the time. People started thinking of other things to say when they saw her in the morning. Truly. And my kid is still thrilled to be in her favorite duds; she hasn’t figured out that she’s got to have variety to get the same people to ooh and aaah. Hee hee.

This is the first tactic that has ever worked for me. So here’s my suggestion: let your daughter pick out her absolute favorites and keep them in a tight rotation. People might feel sorry for your kid, wish she had more clothes, think you’re a bad mom, but this is all good. It further inspires them to come up with other ways to make your daughter feel good. People are not trying to hurt your daughter, their intentions are good; they just want to be nice. I think that may be why this strategy works so well.

Try it and let me know how it goes.

But half of law school, med school, art school are girls! Aren’t boys the ones who need more support?

Um, no.

I get some version of the comment pasted below all the time. Oliver is responding to my post about how “Adventures of Tintin” featured almost no female characters, typical of most animated movies made for kids.

From Oliver:

You keep focusing on how sexist American and Hollywood still are as you focus solely on women, because, you course, you ARE a woman! You say Hollywood keeps making kids movies that say that boys are more important to girls, but the reality is that is how YOU are reading it and how you want to see it. The reality is, studies have shown time and again that the way public schools in America function is actually detrimental to boys and young men and the way they think, function and learn. Boys, many many times more often than girls, are left behind in school and there are increasingly more and more girls going to college and less boys. A large majority of college-attendees are now girls. Girls have plenty of support today telling them they’re important, they can accomplish whatever they want, they can do everything a boy can do. The reality is that in our modern time there became as much equality between boys/girls and men/women as realistically possible. Pretty soon women became more equal than men. Girls more equal than boys. The focus shifted. Women found their voice. So don’t sit here telling us there is too much in America telling us boys are more important than girls. EVERYTHING points to the contrary. Girls have plenty of media that caters SOLELY to them. If anything, young boys need to be reminded of their importance and be shown better role models and given more emotional support while they grow up. You have everything backwards, you dumb, irrational, zealous feminist.

PS Nobody I watched this movie with, boys, girls, men or women noticed this lack of women. Do you know why you noticed it? Because you focus on it in your life. You look for these things and try to find meaning that’s not there. You’re the same as all the people who post on the IMDB forums accusing movies of being racist because there are no black people. You have a chip on your shoulder that you need to break off. You’ve been owned.

My response:

Hi Oliver,

I wish these facts were just my opinion. Women don’t make it past 16% in power positions in most professions all across the board. Women are half the students in med school, law school, art school etc but it doesn’t translate to equal status or pay beyond education.

That no one you saw Tintin with noticed the lack of girls only shows how used to invisible females we are. Do you think if the movie had all female characters you might have noticed?

Here are some stats, More at the Geena Davis institute on Gender and Media:

Women are 51% of the U.S. population

Over half of college graduates but less than a quarter of full professors and a fifth of college presidents are female

Women are 50% of new entrants to the profession, but less than a fifth of law firm partners, federal judges, law school deans, and Fortune 500 general counsels

Only 16% of protagonists in film are female.

The female characters in G rated movies are just as likely to wear revealing clothing as in R rated movies.

Women make up 8% of all writers of major motion pictures.

Women are 17% of all executive producers

95% of top grossing Hollywood films directed by men

Women are 2% of all cinematographers

Women are 7% of film directors

In 84 years, 4 women have been nominated for best director, only one has won

2012 Academy Award nominations, 98% movies directed by men, 84% written by men, 70% starring men

77 percent of Oscar voters are male.

Women and girls are the subject of less than 20% of news stories.

Women make up 14% of all guest appearances on the influential Sunday television talk shows; among repeat guests, only 7% are women.

Only 15% of the authors on the The New York Times best seller list for nonfiction are women.

Only about 20% of op-eds in America’s newspapers are by women.

Women hold only 15.2% of seats on the boards of Fortune 500 companies.

In the financial services industry, 57% of the workers are women but 2% tof the CEO’s are female

Women are one third of M.B.A. classes and 2% of Fortune 500 CEOs

16 % of board directors and corporate officers

Only 7.5% of the major earners at those Fortune 500 companies are female.

Only 3% of advertising’s creative directors are women.

Women are 50% of divinity students but 3 percent of the pastors of large congregations in protestant churches that have been ordaining women for decades

Women are just 19% of partners in law firms.

Women represent 17% of the United States Congress.

There are currently only six female governors (12%)

23.6% of state legislators are women

9% of Mayors are women in largest 100 cities in U.S.

U.S. ranks 71st in the world in female legislative representation, behind Bangladesh, Sudan and United Arab Emirates

Throughout our history only four women have held the office of Supreme Court Justice.

There has never been a female President of the United States.
MM

Pay attention to this correlation: Only 16% of protagonists in films are female (Geena Davis Institute on Gender and Media/ Miss Representation.)

Here’s a quote from Barnard president Deborah Spar in a post from Leslie Bennets on The Daily Beast where many of the stats listed above are from:

“Women remain hugely underrepresented at positions of power in every single sector across this country,” said Barnard College president Debora Spar at a White House conference on urban economic development last month. “We have fallen into what I call the 16 percent ghetto, which is that if you look at any sector, be it aerospace engineering, Hollywood films, higher education, or Fortune 500 leading positions, women max out at roughly 16 percent.”

Do you think that the narratives we surround ourselves with and the parts that we assign males and females to play matter? What does the gender imbalance in the imaginary world from animated movies to LEGO minifigs tell us about ourselves and our expectations for our children?

New moms, it gets better!

I saw the link to Devon Cornmeal’s HuffPo post “It Will Get Better” on Lisa Belkin’s FB page. This is such a great post. Every new mom should read it. And moms of older kids should read it, too, just to feel grateful, because who really knew that breast-feeding would be 24/7? Or had any idea how great and essential sleep was before it all got taken away? Or, as Cornmeal writes, that your sheets would be literally soaked with sweat every night?

In her post, Cornmeal promises new moms that their babies will stop staring vacantly at the ceiling and actually smile at them one day.

Every night, years later, I still appreciate my sleep. I thought my gratitude for something so basic would pass, that I would start to take it for granted again. But it hasn’t. Not in the least. When I get in my bed, I feel so lucky. I just lie there for a minute and think “Wow:” Most likely I  will get to sleep through the whole night, peacefully, in quiet, relaxed and then I will wake up feeling rested. It’s so amazing. Thank you, God.

My youngest child just turned three and a mom at the birthday party asked me how I was taking it. I told her that I’m excited and happy. Having babies was wonderful in many, many ways, but even better is watching my kids grow, talking to them, and hearing what they think. I love that. So far, I’m not nostalgic about the very early years, or pregnancy or breast feeding at all.

I seriously cannot wait to be done with diapers.

What’s the difference between fat and dumb?

“What’s the difference between fat and dumb?” asked my five year old. She had no idea. My kid. She’d gotten in a fight with another kid in her kindergarten class and maybe or maybe not called her fat. This according to the other kid’s mom. My kid denied using the word but then asked me that question. For what its worth, the other kid is not “fat.”

Today, Cinderella Ate My Daughter author Peggy Orenstein posted on her blog “Fat is a Preschool Issue.” She writes:

What’s new, however, is the ever-earlier age at which children—girls particularly– become conscious of weight. In  Schoolgirls I cited  a study revealing  that 50% of  9-year-old girls were dieting (check this  Wall Street Journal article  by a reporter who, to see for himself, interviewed  a group of girls  when that study came out; he talked to them again recently as adults).  But now, it appears, by age three girls equate thinness with beauty, sweetness, niceness and popularity; they associate “fat” meanwhile with laziness,  stupidity and friendlessness.

Orenstein posts pictures of characters then and now.

Here are three:

Rainbow Brite’s before and after pictures:

Dora the Explorer:

Care Bears:

Katy Butler still working to get MPAA to give ‘Bully’ PG-13 rating

I posted a couple weeks ago about the misguided MPAA rating system. The MPAA’s system is so messed up, it’s actually the reason why I created Reel Girl. Just one example: “The Little Mermaid” starring Ariel who dresses like a stripper and gives up her voice to get a guy: The MPAA thinks that’s a great film for kids. I guess if you can’t talk, you can’t swear, right?

The MPAA doesn’t seem to consider context at all. They count “bad” words.

High school student Katy Butler, a victim of bullying, is trying to get the MPAA to change its rating of the educational movie “Bully” from R to PG-13 so kids can see it. The movie has an R because bullies in the movie use “coarse language.” How fucked up is it (sorry, MPAA) that kids hear swear words in real life but aren’t allowed to in a documentary about real life.

Here’s the latest from Katy Butler:

Dear Margot,

The first thing I want to say is thank you.

Two weeks ago, I started a petition on Change.org asking the MPAA to change the rating of the new documentary Bully from an R to a PG-13. Now, more than 300,000 people — including you! — have signed it. So many amazing things have happened:

  • Ellen DeGeneres signed the petition, asked me to appear on her show, and said that she feels all kids need to see this movie.
  • Celebrities like Meryl Streep, Johnny Depp, Justin Bieber, Randy Jackson, Demi Lovato, and Drew Brees all expressed support.
  • Nearly 30 members of Congress signed a letter asking the MPAA to change the rating.
  • The campaign has been featured in pretty much every major media outlet in America from the Boston Globe to the LA Times, and I’ve appeared on CNN, FOX News, MSNBC, CBS, NPR and many more.

Last week, I flew to Los Angeles to deliver 200,000 signatures to the MPAA’s office there, and I got to meet with one of their executives. She told me that they’re keeping the film rated “R” because they have to keep things “consistent.” Maybe she thought that I would give up, or that I’m just 17, so how much can I really change anyway? But I know that if we keep up the pressure, the MPAA will have no choice but to admit that being “consistent” isn’t as important as letting kids see a movie that could literally save lives.

So this week, I’m in Washington, DC, where I’m on Capitol Hill meeting with congressional staff, the press, and the movie’s producer, Harvey Weinstein. I can hardly believe this has all happened. I promise to keep you in the loop when we get more updates on the campaign.

In the meantime, can you help keep up the momentum by sharing my petition on Facebook? Just click here to post the petition to your wall.

Five years ago, I was being bullied so badly that I didn’t even want to go to school. But now, knowing that all of you are standing with me, I don’t feel afraid or alone anymore.

Thanks for everything,

– Katy

Elizabeth Arden responds: ‘the ad evokes a sense of grace, success, and poise that was soul-deep, not just skin-deep’

Elizabeth Arden responds:

Hi, We want to respond to the comments and dialogue about our Ceramide Premiere ad. We regret that the ad is sending a signal other than what we intended. When Elizabeth Arden said “To be beautiful is the birthright of every woman” 100 years ago, she wasn’t celebrating superficial beauty. She was celebrating authenticity, individuality, and the self-confidence that makes each woman uniquely be…autiful. We felt the woman shown in the ad evokes a sense of grace, success, and poise that was soul-deep, not just skin-deep. A wisdom and confidence her daughter could aspire to. We are very sorry if the ad triggered the opposite response.As we continue this journey of redefining beautiful in a broader, more complex way, we hope you will allow us to learn and evolve with you and we welcome your input on how to define this complex and emotionally-charged word.
Dear Elizabeth Arden,
Thank you for your response.
This is an ad for face cream so one assumes the focus is skin. If Elizabeth Arden wants to communicate through this ad that beauty is not, in fact, “just skin-deep,” why do you show a woman doing nothing but smiling at the camera? Why not show her doing something? Winning a trophy after a tournament, jumping a fence on  a horse, or creating a painting. Why not show her doing something with her daughter?
If you want to show a woman only smiling at the camera, why not use a well known, accomplished spokesperson? A woman everyone identifies with “authenticity and individuality?”
As it stands, the combination of the product advertised being for skin cream, the model smiling at the camera, and the caption “Beautiful gives her daughter something to look forward to” communicates the message that the main thing our daughters have to look forward to in life is nice skin.
That’s not the kind of message mothers want to send to our kids.
Margot Magowan
Reel  Girl
Tell Elizabeth Arden what you think on its Facebook page.