Author Archives: margotmagowan

Commenter thinks Lego Friends is perfect for girls

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I got this on SFGate. Does this guy work at Lego?

Margot, could you please answer a question for me? To what extent do you believe the following statement to be true:

Most women want more than anything to get married and have children. As little girls they dream about their wedding and the man they will marry, in that order. They also put a high value on making and maintaining friendships. This is why Lego made a set for them that focuses on relationships and in fact includes the word “friends” in its title. Little boys do not fantasize about their wedding day. They think often about their jobs and lives as adults and these fantasies often involve building things, sometimes with other people but often alone. The reason why the vast majority of your commenters are men is because men can spend hours in front of a computer interacting with people in a fairly abstract way. This is generally not something girls and women prefer to do.

I look forward to reading what you have to say.

Parents, this is about you too

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Here’s another two minute blog before I wake up my kids.

Remember, this is not just the big bad toy company. This is about us, too. I blogged earlier about how it’s hard to make small talk with a toddler so we say to a girl, “What a pretty dress!” It’s more difficult to try to think of other subjects. It can be awkward to ask the nurse at the doctor’s office not to offer your daughter a “choice” of three princess stickers. But we should all do it. Please try. I don’t mean to sound preachy and be annoying. I know we have enough people telling us what to do and feeling bad that we’re not parenting right. But it’s these little steps we make that change things. What we do in our own lives as well as the activism, it’s all the same, really.

I think of toys kind of the same way I think about eating which is what I blogged about right when I started Reel Girl. You can’t tell your kid to eat a certain way and not do it yourself. It’s hypocritical, but more importantly, it doesn’t work. If I eat sushi with my kids and get excited about it, they are likely to do the same. I’m not saying my kids will eat sushi if I do, but that they are way more likely to if I do. If it’s something we do together. If it’s fun. (Who cares if my kids eat sushi? It’s just a pain in the ass when they don’t try new foods, life is much easier– and healthier– when they don’t get stuck in a rut. And believe me, it’s hard to get my cooking, as well as my husband’s, out of a rut.)

If you get your kid gender neutral toys like blocks or puzzles or the old Legos, get excited about the toy. Sit on the floor and play with them. Do it often. What little kids want is attention from their parents. With almost any toy, you can incorporate make believe play. This can be tedious (my 5 year old loves a repetitive story with 3 creatures: one doesn’t believe, one does, and the third is the magical one. She will play this with blocks, Legos, or sticks.)

Also, show your sons and daughters movies and TV with powerful girls. Here’s Reel Girl’s recommended list. Read your sons stories that feature girls in strong roles. Here are some questions to think about when you watch a movie.

Encourage cross gender play. Make a play date with your kid and a kid of the opposite gender.

With toys, movies, books, playdates, and food challenge your kid to try new experiences. Kid learn through play. Lure her out of her comfort zone the way you would with “work.” With your attention and encouragement, she will try. If it’s too much for you to buy your son a stroller, don’t freak when he pushes another kid’s in the park.  All kids love to push things on wheels, I know for boys we like to call those objects cars or trains.

Good luck this Holiday season!

Wow, check out Lego’s Facebook page

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Starting yesterday, PBG asked people who love the 1981 Lego pic to post it on Lego’s FB page and hundreds of people, men and women, are doing it (thousands??) The posts say how much they love Lego and how much they don’t like the new Friends toy.

Here are a few comments:

“LEGO, you make such a fantastic product … when it is marketed to CHILDREN, not to specific genders. CHILDREN like all colors. CHILDREN like to be creative. CHILDREN like to build (and destroy). Not boys, not girls … just KIDS.

You have such an opportunity, right at this moment in time, to be a CHAMPION for childhood … a childhood FREE from gender stereotyping, FREE from limitation … and FULL of IMAGINATION.

Please, please, PLEASE … be a CHAMPION for CHILDHOOD!”

Thank you!

“As a man, I’m in favor of adding breasts to just about anything. However, these new LEGOs are just plain insulting. How many female engineers, programmers and scientists do you think LEGO created? Please make more; not only are their contributions to those industries invaluable, they generally smell better than the rest of us. LEGO is the universal, multi-generational bond that brings all nerds together, keep it that way and leave the BRAT dolls out of my spaceship.”

Here’s another:

Dear LEGO, you can see how much we all love you and when you love someone, you let them know when you think they’re doing the wrong thing. We’re asking you now to do the right thing and:1. Bring back your beautiful campaign;
2. Include girls in your advertising for all LEGOs sets;
3. Include more girl characters in your regular LEGO sets;”
If you want to tell Lego how you feel, go to Lego’s FB page, click like, post the 1981 pic and give your comment.
Lego posted to me “Thank you for sharing” which is a step up from being deleted, I suppose.
Mama Feminista has a great post on why Legos are loved and why the 1981 ad is so awesome.

Reel Girl’s letter to Lego

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This letter was inspired by Melissa Wardy of Pigtail Pals. You can read her letter here. Please write to Lego as well.

Here’s an ad for Legos from 1981:

Here’s a photo of the new Friends Legos created in 2011:



 
 
LEGO Systems, Inc.
555 Taylor Road
P.O. Box 1138
Enfield, CT 06083-1138

Dear Lego,

Legos were special. They were unique and creative and helped kids to build. Legos inspired kids’ imaginations. Boys and girls could play Legos together. But with your new product, Lego Friends created for girls, I can no longer tell the difference between Lego toys and the ubiquitous Disney princess products or Barbies. Is that the point? Because if it is, your copy cat strategy abandons the very qualities that made your toy great.

I have a blog Reel Girl where I rate kids’ media and products. Toys can get 1 – 3 Ss for stereotyping and 1 – 3 Gs for Girlpower. So recently I went to hear women architects talk about the new Architect Barbie. I have three daughters ages 2 – 8, and I asked the architects if I should buy this new Barbie for my kids. They all emphatically said no. Buy them blocks, they said. Buy them Legos. The architects loved Legos as kids. I blogged about their advice and spoke about it, I put it out it on Facebook and Twitter. I am sad and surprised to say that now Reel Girl gives Legos new Friends for girls an SSS rating.

I know Lego didn’t start all this gender stereotyping in kids’ toys. I get that you’re jumping on the bandwagon because you need to sell products. You’re worried because sales are down. But you’re making a mistake.

I know you spent a lot of money on market research. But all you’ve really researched is the effect that mass marketing has on kids. Look at your 1981 girl and your 2011 Kim Kardashian wannabe lounging in her hot tub with a drink. All that you’ve researched is how to help turn our daughters from the beautiful kid into the plastic one. Lego is better than this. That’s why we love your toy. That’s why we buy it. But now, instead of helping kids grow, you’re stunting them.

We’ve all moved beyond the nature versus nurture debate. Now we understand babies brains come into the world full of potential. The experiences they have help to determine how those brains develop. For example, babies are born able to mimic and make all kinds of sounds, but as they learn a particular language, their brains start to wire up to produce particular intonations; they lose their ability to make many other sounds. Kids who learn to speak other languages early retain that ability to make different sounds for a lifetime. Limiting kids’ early experiences limits their brain growth. That’s why gender stereotyping is so dangerous.

Pink is just one color. Girls are not born with a pink gene. Pink used to be a boy color, the pastel version of red. Blue was for girls, the color of the Virgin Mary. Alice in Wonderland and Cinderella wore blue. Sleeping Beauty was switched to pink to differentiate her from Cinderella. This kind of information is what you should be spending your market research budget on because paying experts to ‘observe’ that girls choose pink is only studying the effects of multinational companies. Or maybe that is what you want to know?

The more you split kids and adults into tiny categories, the easier it is to market and sell products. The concept of ‘toddler’ was developed by clothing manufacturers in the 1930s as a stepping stone between infants and older kids to sell clothing. ‘Tween’ was coined in the 1980s.

I know asking you not to mimic what’s out there is challenging. Some of your best selling Lego sets ‘for boys’ like Star Wars and Indiana Jones come from million dollar movies franchises that don’t exactly have many females in them. But I wish you would use your research and marketing money to figure out how to help develop kids brains, the way Lego used to do.

Please consider bringing back the 1981 ad and creating the kinds of toys that the cool kid in the picture would love.

Thank you.

Margot Magowan

Reel Girl blog

Update: People are going to Lego’s Facebook page and posting the 1981 pic asking them to bring beautiful back. If you agree and want to post it, go to Lego’s FB page, click like, and then you can post the pic.

Talking about girly Legos today on KGO Radio 8:35AM

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I have 2 minutes to write this before I wake up my kids, but I’ve just been looking at all these new girl Legos before I go on air and it’s such a bummer. It makes me so sad. They look exactly like princesses. A girl in a hot tub with a drink? Are you kidding me? A beauty salon? A curvy girl in a convertible? A rock star? These are Legos? We are going so backward. If you have not seen it yet, please look at this ad for Legos from 1981. Here is the link. Ironically, this pic was going all around the internet when the pics of the new absurd toys came out.

And the whole explanation about pink blocks draw girls in to buy the product, when are we going to stop with the the pink??? Don’t give us more pink for God’s sake, give us less! Kids brains are developing, they are growing, getting wired up. What you give your child to play with helps to make her brain grow. Blocks and Lego toys are about imagination and building. I recently went to hear some women architects talk about the new Architect Barbie. They all said, don’t get your daughter Architect Barbie, get her blocks, get her Legos. That was their favorite toy growing up. Parents, this is about you. Please think about your choices this Christmas.

Reel Girl gives Lego Friends its worst rating, a Triple S (SSS) for major stereotyping.

Warren Hellman, you will be missed

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Warren Hellman was one of the smartest, coolest people on the planet.

Extensive obituaries for the Bay Area investment banker and musician are all over the internet (locally at SFGate and the Bay Citizen which he helped found) with headlines like “The Billionaire Who Loved Bluegrass” and “Renaissance Man in a Cowboy shirt.” Posts and articles detail his many contributions to the Bay Area go on and on and are still incomplete. They include contributions like helping to reform the city’s pension, funding the San Francisco Free Clinic, heading the board of Mills college and trying to take it co-ed  (being met with signs that read: “Warren, go to hell man) creating an underground lot in Golden Gate Park, setting up an endowment for aquatic sports at UC Berkeley (he played water polo), and creating the Hellman Fellows Program to support tenure track faculty at UC campuses.

Most of all, Warren Hellman is now known for founding and completely funding the wildly successful, fun and free (for all of us) annual Hardly Strictly Bluegrass music festival in Golden Gate Park.

Why was Warren Hellman so generous? It made him happy. He wasn’t interested in collecting art or buying fancy cars. He enjoyed spending his time, money, and brain cells creating projects, solving problems, and helping communities thrive. He often said Hardly Strictly Bluegrass was his definition of heaven on earth. When asked about the festival by Forbes Magazine in 2006, he said: “How could you have more fun than that? What the hell is money for if it isn’t for something like that?”

His band is called the Wronglers. He spent much of the last year of his life recording and touring with legend Jimmie Dale Gilmore. You can get their CD “Heirloom Music” here.

One of my favorite memories of Warren is being in his office, listening to a song and laughing and laughing. The song is called “The Ballad of Sarah Palin and it’s by Cup O’ Joes. I am posting the lyrics below and the song on youtube. You can listen to it here.

Good-bye Warren. THANK YOU. I miss you.


Ballad of Sarah Palin (Just be an Alaskan)

Sarah, Sarah, oh my Sarah Palin,

You’re a mother, a leader, and Alaska’s fair maiden,

I know you hear people calling your name,

But you abandoned Alaska,

I think that’s a shame.

Sarah Palin,

You were the Governor of Alaska,

Rove knew you were up there,

And told McCain he should tap ya,

So you burst on the scene with your stunning good looks,

But red lights started flashing when you tried to take away our books,

If you’d opened one and read it,

Well, then you could seeee,

That Africa’s a continent and not a countryyy.

They mocked you and called you Caribou Barbie,

Now you’re the lovely new face of the Republican Party,

With your suits, your shoes, your Tina Fey glasses,

Your folksy ‘You Betchas’ sure play to the masses.

Right from the start, you had people attack you,

Said you didn’t know nothing about the questions they asked you,

They said in Alaska, you didn’t play by the rules,

That your daughter was pregnant and still in high school,

Some hinted you didn’t know Bagdhad from Zurich,

And you were mishandled by both Gibson and Couric,

(Chorus)

Sarah, Sarah, oh my Sarah Palin,

You’re a mother, a leader, and Alaska’s fair maiden,

I know you hear people calling your name,

But you abandoned Alaska,

I think that’s a shame.

Supporters were nervous for your first debate,

Afraid you’d think NAFTA meant New York and LA,

Then you lost the election,

We thought you were done,

Secretly hoped you’d turn tail and run,

And you did, you went home, back to Alaska

We breathed a sigh of relief, thought we’d seen the last of ya,

I know it must’ve made you irate,

When it was alleged that Todd ran your state,

Now Levi’s in Playgirl and all over the place,

Sarah, forgive him, set out a Thanksgiving plate

You quit on Alaska and wrote a new book,

Going Rogue sold millions, got you a new look

There you were talking and talking on my box,

With the help of that clever old Fox,

You told the people that we’re in big trouble,

And some of them begged, “Lead us out of the rubble,”

But with you at the helm, our trouble will double,

So please, go back to Wasilia and live in your bubble!

(Chorus)

Sarah, we’ll  miss you but not very much,

Please do us a favor and don’t stay in touch,

Commune with the grizzlies, gun clubs and such,

Go back to Wasilia and live in your Hutch.


So sit back, relax, enjoy your fame

Sarah, Sarah, please don’t come again,

Sarah, Sarah, don’t come back again

Oh please, Sarah Palin,

Just be an Alaskan,

Just be an Alaskan.

In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations be made to the San Francisco Free Clinic, the Bay Citizen and the San Francisco School Alliance. The family also requests a donation of blood or platelets to a local blood bank.

Is Harry Potter ‘feisty?’

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It starts when we’re little.

I’m making a list of words that are mostly used only to apply to girls and women. I’m starting this list because when I point out the lack of female characters in kids’ films, “feisty” is a term that always comes up in response. People name a token strong female who has a supporting role in a male dominated kids’ film and say: “You’d like her, she’s feisty.” Film critics also commonly use “feisty” to describe female characters.

I started to wonder: What if, for example, Astrid in “How to Train Your Dragon” was described as “strong” instead of “feisty?” “Feisty” is a cute word, it’s said with a smile. “Feisty” ends the conversation. Whereas “strong” is a serious word. It takes the issue seriously and implies concern. “Strong” begins the conversation.

Of course, in a perfect world, we wouldn’t need to use “strong” either. No one would say: “Harry Potter is a strong character.” It’s obvious, redundant. “Heroic” would be better.

In the list below, I put the “male” equivalent in parentheses. Please send me your words for this list and also your idea of the “male” word that corresponds.

I’m especially interested in the gendered terms we use for kids and for artists. It is this intersection that affects how we talk about kids’ media. Try practicing using the gender switch in real life.

Feisty (strong, heroic) Another male equivalent could be “jaunty” but no one uses “jaunty.” Word origin: a commenter writes that “feist” mean “mutt-bitch.” I just Googled it and got “small dog” and “breaking wind.” I will continue my research. Fascinating.

Sassy What do you think this means? My 8 year old uses it to describe other girls, she learned at school, but I can’t tell the meaning.

Plucky (brave)

Bossy (assertive) Common use: “Those girls are so bossy.” Not sure people use assertive to describe male children. Ideas? “Dominating?”

(I’m starting to wonder: do people even use “assertive” for men anymore is it just a given? Along with “brave” and “strong” for male characters?)

Strident (passionate, driven) “Bossy” girls grow up to be “strident” women i.e. “Hillary Clinton is so strident.” Try it out for a male: “Mitt Romney is strident.” “Chris Mathews is strident.” If people dislike Romney or Mathews, and wish to communicate that in a word, maybe they use “tenacious?” “Arrogant?” What do you think?

Promiscuous (Player?) I’m not going to put “whore, slut” etc on this list because they’re so obvious, but “promiscuous” is a word I frequently hear used to describe females or gay men and I don’t think people realize they’re being sexist when they use it. It’s the nice way to say “slut.”  People rarely, if ever, call straight men promiscuous. Ideas for male equivalent?

Nag (controlling?)

Catfight (duel? brawl? feud? debate?)

Hysterical (Angry? Upset?) If “hysterical” is used to mean funny, it is gender neutral but of course, men are funnier than women. Word origin: hyster mean “womb;” the implication being women are crazy because they have wombs.

Cougar (man) Cut and pasted from commeter: “cougar: older woman dating younger man. Reference to a clawed, hunting animal that I believe disembowels its prey. Male equivalent for an older man dating younger woman would be “man”.

Homewrecker (?)

Homemaker (stay at home dad?)

Words used to describe artists who are women and the work they create:

Confessional (first person, autbiographical fiction)

Chick lit (literature)

Chick flick (movie, film)

Chick rock (rock)

Why the MPAA has no clue what is “appropriate” for kids

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Got this email about “Whale Rider” as I’m making a list of movies centered on awesome girl characters:

Margot,

This wouldn’t meet your criterion of ages 2 through 8.  But as your girls get older, you might consider Whale Rider:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0298228/awards

Movie is a story of a young Maori girl in New Zealand who cannot become the tribal chief because she is female.  It was not only the best “children’s film” of that year (2002)–I thought it was the best film, period.  The young actress playing the lead was nominated for an Oscar.  Rated PG-13 because one of the girl’s older, male Maori relatives was clearly a drug addict, although kids might not even understand the message that was being conveyed about drug use.

Tom

I completely forgot about this movie. I loved it. I saw it before I had kids, so I will see it again before showing it to them, but the reason Tom gives for it being rated PG– a relative is a drug addict– is not something that would stop me. I’d have to see it of course, but I  doubt the drug addict relative is shown in a positive light.

But here is my question: Why is a supporting role of a guy who is probably messing up his life doing drugs supposedly damaging for my daughter to see, but it’s just great for her to watch another girl showing her belly button, brushing her hair, and literally giving up her voice to get a guy? I know one family visiting San Francisco and their kid saw an ad for a strip club on Broadway; she pointed and said, “Ariel!”

What is wrong with this picture? Cinderella, Snow White, invisible girls or girls only in supporting roles in G movie after G movie (that’s MPAA Gs, not Reel Girl Girlpower Gs) but never let your kid see anything with drugs in it! Or a cigarette! Or a swear word!

A lot of adults don’t get it. Liberal men in particular. I’ve gotten in many arguments with pacifist, peace loving men who complain about the rating system, and say something like: violence is OK in movies, but sex is not? That’s not right. Why are people so uptight about sex?

But for women, the question “sex or violence” doesn’t even make sense. So often, in movies, the sex is linked with violence. Women are being raped, attacked, murdered, imprisoned while they are in their wet T shirts and bikinis.

“Whale Rider” may be too old for my kids.They’re still mostly into animated films. But I imagine I will show it to them as soon as they can follow it. I’ll see it and rate it for you but my guess is it’ll have multiple Gs: lots of Girlpower and suitable for kids.