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Ashley Judd talks back to sexist media

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Ashley Judd has a great post up on the Daily Beast that she wrote in response to the media frenzy about her “puffy face.”

Here’s a quote from it I love:

That women are joining in the ongoing disassembling of my appearance is salient. Patriarchy is not men. Patriarchy is a system in which both women and men participate. It privileges, inter alia, the interests of boys and men over the bodily integrity, autonomy, and dignity of girls and women. It is subtle, insidious, and never more dangerous than when women passionately deny that they themselves are engaging in it. This abnormal obsession with women’s faces and bodies has become so normal that we (I include myself at times—I absolutely fall for it still) have internalized patriarchy almost seamlessly. We are unable at times to identify ourselves as our own denigrating abusers, or as abusing other girls and women.

A case in point is that this conversation was initially promulgated largely by women; a sad and disturbing fact.

This internalized sexism is exactly what I was writing about in my letter to Dara-Lynn Weiss, the mom who put her seven year old daughter on a diet. It’s also predominantly women who perform cliterodectomies on girls in countries that practice this brutal procedure.

Try to be aware of how you buy into sexism. Don’t think that you are immune. We all live in a world that privileges males and we are all affected by it. The first step is awareness. When you look back in history, it’s easy to wonder how could people ever believe slavery was okay or let the holocaust happen. But today, too many of us refuse to recognize, take action, or give money to help stop the discrimination against women and girls happening all over the world.

If you doubt how serious gender discrimination is RIGHT NOW please read Half the Sky by Sheryl WuDunn and Nicolas Kristof.

Katniss Everdeen action figure is here!

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I love this. She looks like Artemis, the Greek goddess.

Ok, technically this is a Barbie, but I’ve written quite a bit before how toys for girls and called “dolls” while toys for boys are called “action figures.” Part of the fun of blogs is that you make up your own damn headline, and obviously, this womangirl is all about action.

Just looking at this figure makes me want to make up stories. Katniss Everdeen personifies what Reel Girl is all about. We are stuck in the same old bullshit narratives and we recycle and recycle and recycle them through toys, images, movies, TV, books, advertisements, and art.

Here is something new, someone new. Or maybe she is someone ancient finally reborn. Let her inspire you. Make up some new stories, people! Or retell some long lost, forgotten ones. Too many of our kids are playing to a sexist script. Their imaginations are being colonized. Do what you can to protect you kids’ imaginations!

Lawsuit against Belvedere Vodka consistent with its history of ‘comic’ date rape ads

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The Huffington Post reports that Belvedere Vodka (Moet Hennessy USA) is getting sued for stealing imagery for an ad from a video depicting a date rape.

The woman featured in a controversial Belvedere Vodka ad showing what many believe to be date-rape imagery is suing the boozemaker for emotional distress and unlicensed use of her image, KTLA reports.

Alicyn Packard, a voiceover actress in Los Angeles, said in the suit that the image of her was stolen from an on-line video that her company, Strictly Viral Productions, produced, according to KTLA. Interpreted by many as depicting a rape in progress, the ad features a man grabbing and fondling Packard from behind, as panic overtakes her face. The tagline reads, “Unlike Some People, Belvedere Always Goes Down Smoothly.”

The commercial sparked a severe viral backlash, with critics saying the ad made light of rape. Belevedere apologized and removed the ad from its Facebook page. But its parent company, Moet Hennessy USA, apparently has not reached out to Packard…

The ad was apparently a screen grab of a comedy sketch that Packard did in which her character is forced by her mother to reenact a childhood moment.

Turns out Belvdere’s promotion of “comic” date rape goes way back. When Belvedere isn’t stealing images of date rape, they’re making up their own. Here’s a repost of Rape or Menage a Trois with your Vodka? which I wrote about Belvedere’s creepy and horrible ad in 2010.

Check how similar the two photos are: both black and white with a man grinning demonically in the background while the woman in front seems both terrified and to be having a good time. Message: women enjoy being raped.

The Belvedere ad guys must have marveled at the likeness between the images as well. They were probably pretty psyched when they came across Packard’s video. Wonder how they found it?

Here’s my 2010 post:

She’s blind folded, her fingers curled in fear, teeth bared, she’s screaming. Just behind her lurks a man’s face, smiling demonically, a deadringer for Jack Nicholson’s grinning psycho-killer in “The Shining.”

The latest horror movie? No, a new ad for Belvedere vodka in Gourmet Magazine’s May pasta issue. There within the pages of recipes for orecchiette with cauliflower or pappardelle with lamb ragu, a rape scene. I count three penises in this ad. Can you find them?


The three erect penises in the Belvedere Vodka ad:

(1) the Belvedere Vodka bottle

(2) the garnish of two olives and swizzle stick

(3) the shadow on the woman’s arm and blue balls (ha ha)

Reel Girl is now on Facebook. Click here to join.

Geraldo partly blames teen’s hoodie

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“I’ll bet you money that if he didn’t have that hoodie on, that nutty neighborhood watch guy wouldn’t have responded in that violent and aggressive way,” Rivera said.

Please read this whole story here, there’s more.

Geraldo, I’m a 5’3 white female. Do you think if I were wearing a hoodie, someone would think I was a menace and shoot me? If I were wearing a short skirt and heels, someone might rape me. African-Americans and women really ought to choose clothing more carefully.

The power of ‘mommy bloggers’

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Today on Ms Magazine’s blog, whose audience tends to be women without kids, there’s a post about the power of “mommy bloggers.”

Mommy Bloggers. Just uttering that phrase brings forth mixed reactions…However, within this genre of blogs there’s a smaller group of women, and a few men, writing about parenting with a different spin: a feminist one (as Kara Jesella pointed out in her Summer 2009 piece in Ms. magazine). These mommy bloggers are true pioneers in the future of feminism online.

Andrea Fox, writer of the popular blog blue milk, explains how writing about motherhood is both crucial and intrinsically feminist:

“I write a personal blog that centers mothers, and myself as a mother, in motherhood. In doing that my motherhood blog is a radical feminist act because almost always we center children and ‘mothering’ in any discussion of motherhood. Mothers are frequently, quite literally, lost in the discussion of motherhood.”

No matter how hard cultural forces have worked to put motherhood and feminism at odds, desperately trying to create some kind of distorted, alternate universe, the combination is natural and powerful.

Yesterday, Forbes.com posted on the role women and social media played in bringing down Rush Limbaugh.  But remember, it all comes down to economics. Komen turned around so fast only because after women read about it, they wrote checks. Money poured into Planned Parenthood. Rush only apologized because sponsors were dropping him. If you’re angry about Rush and his influence and you can afford to, please consider sending a check to an organization that supports women. I sent mine to NOW.

Commenter thinks Lego Friends is perfect for girls

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I got this on SFGate. Does this guy work at Lego?

Margot, could you please answer a question for me? To what extent do you believe the following statement to be true:

Most women want more than anything to get married and have children. As little girls they dream about their wedding and the man they will marry, in that order. They also put a high value on making and maintaining friendships. This is why Lego made a set for them that focuses on relationships and in fact includes the word “friends” in its title. Little boys do not fantasize about their wedding day. They think often about their jobs and lives as adults and these fantasies often involve building things, sometimes with other people but often alone. The reason why the vast majority of your commenters are men is because men can spend hours in front of a computer interacting with people in a fairly abstract way. This is generally not something girls and women prefer to do.

I look forward to reading what you have to say.

Warren Hellman, you will be missed

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Warren Hellman was one of the smartest, coolest people on the planet.

Extensive obituaries for the Bay Area investment banker and musician are all over the internet (locally at SFGate and the Bay Citizen which he helped found) with headlines like “The Billionaire Who Loved Bluegrass” and “Renaissance Man in a Cowboy shirt.” Posts and articles detail his many contributions to the Bay Area go on and on and are still incomplete. They include contributions like helping to reform the city’s pension, funding the San Francisco Free Clinic, heading the board of Mills college and trying to take it co-ed  (being met with signs that read: “Warren, go to hell man) creating an underground lot in Golden Gate Park, setting up an endowment for aquatic sports at UC Berkeley (he played water polo), and creating the Hellman Fellows Program to support tenure track faculty at UC campuses.

Most of all, Warren Hellman is now known for founding and completely funding the wildly successful, fun and free (for all of us) annual Hardly Strictly Bluegrass music festival in Golden Gate Park.

Why was Warren Hellman so generous? It made him happy. He wasn’t interested in collecting art or buying fancy cars. He enjoyed spending his time, money, and brain cells creating projects, solving problems, and helping communities thrive. He often said Hardly Strictly Bluegrass was his definition of heaven on earth. When asked about the festival by Forbes Magazine in 2006, he said: “How could you have more fun than that? What the hell is money for if it isn’t for something like that?”

His band is called the Wronglers. He spent much of the last year of his life recording and touring with legend Jimmie Dale Gilmore. You can get their CD “Heirloom Music” here.

One of my favorite memories of Warren is being in his office, listening to a song and laughing and laughing. The song is called “The Ballad of Sarah Palin and it’s by Cup O’ Joes. I am posting the lyrics below and the song on youtube. You can listen to it here.

Good-bye Warren. THANK YOU. I miss you.


Ballad of Sarah Palin (Just be an Alaskan)

Sarah, Sarah, oh my Sarah Palin,

You’re a mother, a leader, and Alaska’s fair maiden,

I know you hear people calling your name,

But you abandoned Alaska,

I think that’s a shame.

Sarah Palin,

You were the Governor of Alaska,

Rove knew you were up there,

And told McCain he should tap ya,

So you burst on the scene with your stunning good looks,

But red lights started flashing when you tried to take away our books,

If you’d opened one and read it,

Well, then you could seeee,

That Africa’s a continent and not a countryyy.

They mocked you and called you Caribou Barbie,

Now you’re the lovely new face of the Republican Party,

With your suits, your shoes, your Tina Fey glasses,

Your folksy ‘You Betchas’ sure play to the masses.

Right from the start, you had people attack you,

Said you didn’t know nothing about the questions they asked you,

They said in Alaska, you didn’t play by the rules,

That your daughter was pregnant and still in high school,

Some hinted you didn’t know Bagdhad from Zurich,

And you were mishandled by both Gibson and Couric,

(Chorus)

Sarah, Sarah, oh my Sarah Palin,

You’re a mother, a leader, and Alaska’s fair maiden,

I know you hear people calling your name,

But you abandoned Alaska,

I think that’s a shame.

Supporters were nervous for your first debate,

Afraid you’d think NAFTA meant New York and LA,

Then you lost the election,

We thought you were done,

Secretly hoped you’d turn tail and run,

And you did, you went home, back to Alaska

We breathed a sigh of relief, thought we’d seen the last of ya,

I know it must’ve made you irate,

When it was alleged that Todd ran your state,

Now Levi’s in Playgirl and all over the place,

Sarah, forgive him, set out a Thanksgiving plate

You quit on Alaska and wrote a new book,

Going Rogue sold millions, got you a new look

There you were talking and talking on my box,

With the help of that clever old Fox,

You told the people that we’re in big trouble,

And some of them begged, “Lead us out of the rubble,”

But with you at the helm, our trouble will double,

So please, go back to Wasilia and live in your bubble!

(Chorus)

Sarah, we’ll  miss you but not very much,

Please do us a favor and don’t stay in touch,

Commune with the grizzlies, gun clubs and such,

Go back to Wasilia and live in your Hutch.


So sit back, relax, enjoy your fame

Sarah, Sarah, please don’t come again,

Sarah, Sarah, don’t come back again

Oh please, Sarah Palin,

Just be an Alaskan,

Just be an Alaskan.

In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations be made to the San Francisco Free Clinic, the Bay Citizen and the San Francisco School Alliance. The family also requests a donation of blood or platelets to a local blood bank.

Why the MPAA has no clue what is “appropriate” for kids

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Got this email about “Whale Rider” as I’m making a list of movies centered on awesome girl characters:

Margot,

This wouldn’t meet your criterion of ages 2 through 8.  But as your girls get older, you might consider Whale Rider:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0298228/awards

Movie is a story of a young Maori girl in New Zealand who cannot become the tribal chief because she is female.  It was not only the best “children’s film” of that year (2002)–I thought it was the best film, period.  The young actress playing the lead was nominated for an Oscar.  Rated PG-13 because one of the girl’s older, male Maori relatives was clearly a drug addict, although kids might not even understand the message that was being conveyed about drug use.

Tom

I completely forgot about this movie. I loved it. I saw it before I had kids, so I will see it again before showing it to them, but the reason Tom gives for it being rated PG– a relative is a drug addict– is not something that would stop me. I’d have to see it of course, but I  doubt the drug addict relative is shown in a positive light.

But here is my question: Why is a supporting role of a guy who is probably messing up his life doing drugs supposedly damaging for my daughter to see, but it’s just great for her to watch another girl showing her belly button, brushing her hair, and literally giving up her voice to get a guy? I know one family visiting San Francisco and their kid saw an ad for a strip club on Broadway; she pointed and said, “Ariel!”

What is wrong with this picture? Cinderella, Snow White, invisible girls or girls only in supporting roles in G movie after G movie (that’s MPAA Gs, not Reel Girl Girlpower Gs) but never let your kid see anything with drugs in it! Or a cigarette! Or a swear word!

A lot of adults don’t get it. Liberal men in particular. I’ve gotten in many arguments with pacifist, peace loving men who complain about the rating system, and say something like: violence is OK in movies, but sex is not? That’s not right. Why are people so uptight about sex?

But for women, the question “sex or violence” doesn’t even make sense. So often, in movies, the sex is linked with violence. Women are being raped, attacked, murdered, imprisoned while they are in their wet T shirts and bikinis.

“Whale Rider” may be too old for my kids.They’re still mostly into animated films. But I imagine I will show it to them as soon as they can follow it. I’ll see it and rate it for you but my guess is it’ll have multiple Gs: lots of Girlpower and suitable for kids.