Cutlass Liz and her ‘beach ball breasts’

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Wow, so many commenters are upset that I described Cutlass Liz’s breasts as “beach ball” when clearly, her breasts are not large enough to beach balls. I was referring not to size but shape; they are ball-like. Perhaps baseballs would’ve been a better simile. Of course, my point here guys, is that in “Pirates!” one of the very few female characters in the movie is sexualized and that sucks for kids, especially girls, who go to see this movie.

Secondly, people keep writing that there are no female pirates in real life. I have answered this so many times before but here I go again: Who gives a shit? In the animated world, toys come to life, rats cook, and lions befriend warthogs. Why when it comes to gender roles do people suddenly become so dedicated to depicting a sexist “reality?”

Update: People are already sending me lists of female pirates in real life. Thank you! I think the commenters would still say the majority of pirates are male, therefore the majority of male pirates in the movie is accurate. To which I still say, who cares? Be creative, people! Isn’t that what you get paid for?

12 thoughts on “Cutlass Liz and her ‘beach ball breasts’”

  1. Oi, they ar female pirates! Take Anne Bonny and her friend, a chinese female pirate who i forgot the name of, Martha something-or-other ans so on.
    But the way the portrayed the female pirates in the film with really tight clothing to show off their natural curves-good thing they didn’t make them very feminime.

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  2. Cartoons are based on caricature. Look at the improbable size of her eyes, for instance. One thing I liked about her depiction was that they didn’t show her as super-skinny with huge breasts, a stereotype that really does make young girls feel inadequate. In fact, her most feminine feature was probably her very wide hips, a feature that is normal and natural for women but in this culture in often considered a beauty flaw. Character wise, she didn’t appear the least bit weak or helpless, in fact, no one sane would want to mess with her. So where is all this objectionable sexism?

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  3. Maybe it would be wiser to reserve your judgement until you’ve actually seen the movie. You may even be pleasantly surprised by it.
    Also – there is plenty of female presence in the movie business at every level, in fact the Head of Features at the studio that produced this movie (Aardman Animations) is a woman, as is the producer and about half the company’s HODs are women too. The CGI and modelmaking depts are very liberally populated with women, many of the animators are women, I could go on.
    Seriously, if you really want to make a difference then I suggest you travel to a country like Afganistan or Congo and see what real female oppression actually is like, instead of wasting your time whining about nothing from the privileged position of your laptop.

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  4. I’m sorry but have you actually seen the movie? Firstly, it consists of three main characters: Pirate Captain, Charles Darwin and Queen Victoria. While Queen Victoria’s the villain in the film, she is definitely a very powerful force. She was not focused on various stereotypically female activities or goals, was a genuine threat to the pirates and also dominated a then male-centric world. Her gender was irrelevant in defining her traits. Cutlass Liz is also very strong, having an incredibly lethal reputation which she upholds. Yes, her midriff is on show, but this was similar to how women of the Caribbean dressed during that period and characters such as the Pirate King have lowcut shirts and equally revealing attire. None of the females are portrayed with ridiculous long fluttering lashes or stupid massive bouffants. They’re, in my opinion, designed respectfully.

    Secondly, you complained about how Mysteriously Curvaceous Pirate didn’t have a real name and was the only female in the crew. All of the pirates don’t have real names, whether they be Albino Pirate or Pirate with Gout. On the fact that she was the only female in the crew, that was the point. She was in a society where women were typically not accepted and, thus, felt the need to pretend to be male. She’s just as competent as the other pirates, showing that she’s just as able but, nonetheless has to wear a false beard and lower her voice. It’s an on-going joke in the film which critiques society and on-going sexism in the world and the workplace. Having an out female in the group would have undermined the point.

    Pirates! is a film which I feel is very self-aware and cutting in places, whether it be addressing the ridiculousness of gender roles or hinting towards theories of natural selection, such as when the Pirate Captain asks if Charles Darwin and a monkey are related. It’s light-hearted but quietly and politely poignant and I think that perhaps you’re only looking at its surface. I personally think that it’s far more complex and refined than that.

    Finally, I think that if we’re allowing our avoidance of sexism to affect too much, we’re going back to where we started, making gender become an issue which overly affects how women are portrayed. There are girls who enjoy pink just as much as there are girls who like to wear camouflage. Forcing pop culture to not reflect that and avoid the “pink” characters is, in my opinion, just as bad as only having buxom female characters with fluttering eyelashes who need to be rescused by princes. After all, aren’t we all wanting for gender equality and equal opportunity for both genders to do whatever they want, whether that be something linked with masculinity or feminininity?

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  6. Also, it is worth pointing out that the two most famous female pirates had to dress as men. While they are trans heros, as far as I am concerned, clearly the filmmakers felt free to “Be creative” when it comes to putting the female pirate in skintight femme clothing.

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  7. Hahahahaha “who gives a shit?!” – LOVE the reply to “No girl pirates in real life”. It’s a good thing no one told Pippi that…

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  10. I would also comment that “there are no female pirates in real life” is a falsehood. There were absolutely female pirates in the heyday of the pirate. Google it.

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