Commenter thinks Lego Friends is perfect for girls

I got this on SFGate. Does this guy work at Lego?

Margot, could you please answer a question for me? To what extent do you believe the following statement to be true:

Most women want more than anything to get married and have children. As little girls they dream about their wedding and the man they will marry, in that order. They also put a high value on making and maintaining friendships. This is why Lego made a set for them that focuses on relationships and in fact includes the word “friends” in its title. Little boys do not fantasize about their wedding day. They think often about their jobs and lives as adults and these fantasies often involve building things, sometimes with other people but often alone. The reason why the vast majority of your commenters are men is because men can spend hours in front of a computer interacting with people in a fairly abstract way. This is generally not something girls and women prefer to do.

I look forward to reading what you have to say.

17 thoughts on “Commenter thinks Lego Friends is perfect for girls

  1. I just read through the SFgate comments and, wow, they convinced me that I am way better off with my tiny blog that only a few gals read than with blogging on a big site without comment moderation. Because it’s in venues like that that sexism and misogyny run rampant and unchecked. How often do people critique male bloggers appearance, home life, etc? It’s disgusting.

    Anyhow–you GO! You are smart and a great writer and for those of us who care about these issues, you are a great resource. Keep on keepin’ on!

    • mamafeminsita,

      thank you…did you get any hits from SFGate? I honestly don’t think I could handle it if I were 22 which concerns me about young women bloggers, but maybe they are more confident than I was or have their shit together more, I hope so. Being 42, its OK. Having a full life and a husband I’m so in love with I think really helps. Fuck them.


      • Margot: Yes, I did get some traffic. Thanks for the link:) People can be so ugly. At least we have amazing little ones to remind us that people can also be indescribably beautiful too.

        Enjoy the holidays!

        • mama feminista,

          i was worried about sending the trolls your way, but usually they stick close to home. Yes, totally agree about the little ones, feel like my 2 year old is an anti-depressant right now, she is so full of light.


  2. Margot, thanks for your SFGate article. I’m hosting a screening of “Miss Representation” and am so glad to know of people like you continuing the discussion about gender equality and the media. Thanks for being you.

  3. I never dreamed of my wedding day. I never really thought of getting married until high school, at which point I figured it would never happen because things never clicked for me with most guys. I loved playing with LEGOS as a kid and built all sorts of stuff. Yes, lots of castles and things involving horses but I thought Robin Hood was cooler than princesses. I remember thinking it was lame that the few sets aimed at girls were uber-girly and had few choices. I am now married and have a little girl who will soon be old enough to play with Duplos. I try to give her a range of toys to choose from across the perceived gender span. I hope Lego can come up with something better by the time she’s old enough to play with them. Do they still make the normal neighborhood sets?

  4. wow. I think about 98% of the people commenting on that SFGate post completely missed the point you were trying to make. I guess it is much easier to to fall prey to confirmation bias and cognitive dissonance than to actually think from another angle.
    If it helps you feel a little more validated, I honestly think you have a valid point here in that Lego is just falling instep with boys-like-aggression, girls-like-social, which is disappointing since I always thought of Legos as a hold-out.
    My husband pointed me to you blog because of this post. We both agree with what you are saying. And, for what it is worth, staying home with kids and being a full-time mom is super awesome if you can do it, and it doesn’t make you less intelligent, clever, experienced or astute. Crazy sometimes, yes, but I wish you luck in your parenting and thank you for the thoughtful and intelligent post on Legos.
    You know you have hit a nerve when you get the venomous backlash you have gotten.

  5. I went and read the other comments on your SFGate post, and I’m sorry that you have to deal with so much negativity. In fact, the comments on your post inspired me to do a whole post on collectivism and individualism:

    I know that you already know this, but in the face of such hateful comments I just wanted to tell you that I really appreciate the work that you do and it’s so important to have people standing up against the cultural forces at work against our girls (and our boys, too).

    • Balancing Jane,

      Just read your post, its great. Holierthanthou cracks me up. Her comments about my wedding are hilarious. I dont know how to break it to her that I got married in Las Vegas with exactly 2 people there, my husband to be and me.

      Thanks again,

      • Yeah, Holierthanthou was a little unhinged. Funny how you can’t figure out people’s entire lives by reading a post they wrote. And how disappointing when the narratives you create to attack them with aren’t actually true. Minor details.

  6. I have been frowning harder and harder at my monitor through the second and third reading of this, and my forehead is starting to hurt, so I have to quit trying to figure it out and just ask: WHAT? Is he serious? Little girls and women want a wedding more than anything, and a man to marry–not to be married to, not to live with, share their lives with, just marry, at that one-time pinacle of everything that is THE WEDDING–and…oh, have friends. But not jobs or building things or having lives or interacting with people in abstract ways. And he is asking you to gauge the truthiness of this fallacious initial premise? Or is he being facetious? WHAT???

    If this is a serious question, my answer (not that he asked *me*, but you know, I gots no Y chromosome, so I can’t help but insert myself in any situation that might lead to a Friendship–it’s all I have to do now that I’m married and my 2 major goals in life are fulfilled)…anyway, MY answer would be, “I find this to be true to the extent of zeroness, as it is complete crap.”

  7. “The reason why the vast majority of your commenters are men is because men can spend hours in front of a computer interacting with people in a fairly abstract way. This is generally not something girls and women prefer to do.”

    Even though I generally agree with this statement, I have to say that aren’t we stereotyping men by saying this? Just as there are many, many girls that like to build and think in 3D and dream about their future jobs and lives, there are many boys who cherish and maintain their friendships, do NOT spend hours in front of the computer, and actually interact face to face with human beings.

    Lego exists to make money. Period. That’s it. If it was anything else they’d be giving the toys away for free. It is the parent’s responsibility to provide options to their children. And if the parents don’t, or don’t know how, or can’t, then so be it.

    Merry Christmas everybody.

    Sara Morgan

  8. This is a real comment? For serious?

    For the sake of argument, let’s say for a moment that it’s true that little girls all want to grow up to be wives and mothers and whatnot and that women don’t have the focus to stare at a computer or think in abstract ways.

    IF that’s true, could it be the case because corporate decisions to sell products marketed as “for girls” promote those qualities above all other–like, I don’t know, a set of LEGO blocks that show one-dimensional qualities like “pet lover” for pink-washed, curvy-figured dolls.

    Citing the existence of inequality between girls and boys as a way to promote inequality is the height of faulty reasoning.

    But what would I know? I’m just a woman whose head is hurting from trying to talk to you on the abstract internet. I should go bake something so I can feel better.

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