Robert Pattinson “hates vaginas.”

In this month’s Details, cover boy, Robert Pattinson, takes part in one of the most degrading photo shoots and accompanying interviews that I’ve seen in mainstream media. I’m bummed, because before coming across this expose, I wasn’t a fan, but I kind of liked Pattinson and his Twilight series.

In Details, Pattinson is pictured several times, always fully dressed, next to totally naked or almost naked women. In one photo, he lies next to a woman who is in a bathtub, her hands gripping the faucets behind her, as if restrained. In another photo, he wears a button down shirt, a blazer, and sunglasses while the woman with him wears nothing but transparent stockings; a third photo shows two naked women, one lying on the ground in a glass coffin type encasing, reminscent of Snow White; there’s just a head shot of Pattinson in the background.

All this you could almost chalk up to typical Details magazine. Not Pattinson’s fault, but the photographer and photo editors telling everyone what to do.

But then Pattinson’s has a quote that clarifies his position on women: “I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vagina. But I can’t say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours. But I wasn’t exactly prepared. I had no idea what to say to these girls. Thank God I was hungover.”

What’s weird is that the interviewer, Jenny Lumet, who as in most celebrity profiles, has already chummily inserted herself into the story, chattily telling readers how she and Pattinson drink beer together and trade jokes as they walk by a sex shop. But now, she doesn’t follow up on his statement at all. She just asks him what his mother will think of the soft porn photo shoot.

If it were me there interviewing him, I would have asked Pattinson to clarify: “What do you mean you hate vaginas? You don’t like the way the feel? The way they look? They scare you?”

Or I might say, “I know just what you mean! And penises can be really weird too– veiny and hairy. Frankly, I don’t think genitals should be seen in daylight at all. Twelve hours under bright lights is way too long to be around so many vaginas!”

On the cover of the magazine, Pattinson’s face is shown inbetween a woman’s legs, facing out, half smiling at the camera. His eyes tell his audience, “This is exactly where I belong, and as soon as you stop looking at me, I’m going to turn around and preform the best cunnilingus this woman has ever had.” Maybe the young star felt vulnerable, and he was trying to backtrack, get some control. Or maybe he really does hate vaginas. Does that mean he’s gay? I would’ve asked.

5 thoughts on “Robert Pattinson “hates vaginas.”

  1. He’s alluding to an old British joke:

    Doctor, doctor, I think I’m allergic to vaginas!

    Why do you think that, young man?

    Because every time I see one, I swell up!

    Perhaps now you can see see what he trying to say and the relevance of his comment “Thank God I was hungover”

    • I saw that explanation in some places on the internet, I hope it’s true. Though why did he have to say he “hates” vaginas also, and I still dont realy get the hungover relevance–because that way he won’t swell up? It’s also still the interviewer/writer Jenny Lumet’s failure here not to clarify, qualify, ask further, or explain as I wrote in my blog post. Most American don’t get British humor, not to mention obscure local jokes. Lumet’s got to know that.

      Thanks for your coment,

      • Yes, because if you’re hungover, you’re less likely to be able to maintain an erection! Poor lad, it may be every young lad’s fantasy to be surrounded my naked women, but reality is different from fantasy.

        I can only assume that it wasn’t in Jenny Lumet’s interests to clarify. Considering the magazine involved, she knew full well the buzz that would be created with these comments. Remember her name is out there everywhere, connected to these statements.

        It’s just so easy for journalists to edit comments to suit themselves and in my opinion she was also the one to bring up certain strands of conversation, which I don’t think that Rob Pattinson would have bothered to bring up of his own volition – the sex shop springs to mind.

        As you say, most Americans really don’t get British humour – maybe Jenny Lumet didn’t get it either!
        Even within British humour, there are various types and this is what we call seaside postcard humour, which is rather Shakespearean in it’s bawdiness. Our humour is rarely direct, it is subtle and wry, so just don’t take it at face value. We just don’t say what we mean or mean what we say humourwise.

        American humour is also good, so I’m not knocking it! But I’d say American humour slaps you in the face, whereas British humour strains the brain!

  2. Can he not just be overwhelmed embarrassed and shy. I’m sure he loves Vaginas when they belong to somebody he loves not just some Stranger. But his Body betrayed him I’m least he is no Tiger…who grabs whatever is put into his face, but Rob is a Man, a young one if I might add. This Interview is for ADULTS, it’s a MEN Magazine..

  3. Very entertaining. I liked this guy until he did this. It just seems sleazy. The young girls that are Twilight fans seem to almost idolize him. I worry about the message they take from this. Anyhow thanks for the insights.

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